Tag: Food

Diet, Government, Health

MAHA Saves Your Life With Red Dye Ban

You may not realize it, but you owe a huge thank you to RFK Jr. I’m not embellishing at all when I say that he may very well have saved your life. Banning artificial dyes might be a death blow to evil Big Pharma, Big Food, Big Ag, Big Oil et al. and puts us on a road to healthy living. It’s not hyperbole to say that getting rid of Red Dye #40 may cut obesity rates in the United States by 83%. Seriously – you can look it up on Instagram. As the smarmy boss Bill Lumbergh in Office Space often said, “Mmmm, Yeeeah”….

I’m just going to have to say it – RFK Jr. has to be Trump’s worst cabinet pick. Trump got bamboozled by a glorified Wellness Influencer (TM). Well, to be fair he needed JFK’s voting block and figured HHS would be a do no harm consolation prize in exchange. The problem with Wellness Influencers is that they drift somewhere in between uninformed but well intentioned, to full on grifter and snake oil salesman. I was willing to give RFK Jr. benefit of the doubt until I listened to his speech describing his ban of artificial food dyes.

Look, I’m a fan of science. Actual science, driven by the Scientific Method should be the gold standard. And when talking about human health we should rely primarily on human outcome data, not mechanistic, in vitro, or rodent studies to make big decisions. Crazy, right? What do the actual human outcome studies say about something? Preferably a meta analysis of a large number of studies.

This is where RFK Jr. lost me – in his speech he spouts numbers and statistics that are made up and/or completely misleading in order to make his point. He’s the master of conflating correlation with causation and stating it as fact. In other words he uses the exact playbook the Wellness Influencers utilize. He even had a bunch of them there with him – Mark Hymen, The Food Babe, Calley Means. They’re all experts at taking something that has a kernel of truth and using that to extrapolate blanket statements about a particular subject that very few people will ever read the actual studies or ask questions. They get away with it because nobody in the media will ever bother to question them. Why would they – it’s all about health, right?

Here’s the first example that jumped out of RFK Jr. using extremely misleading data. He stated in his speech, “There was zero spent in this country treating chronic disease when my uncle was president. Today it’s about $1.8 trillion annually. It’s bankrupting our nation. 74% of American kids cannot qualify for military service. How are we going to maintain our global leadership with such a sick population?”

Wow, that sounds bad! Of course we should do something! Here’s the sleight of hand that happens – the 74% figure is true (it’s actually 77%). The problem is that in the context of the “chronic disease” he’s addressing, only 18% of kids are disqualified due to obesity or other health issues. The rest are disqualified due to criminal records, drug use, tattoos and ear gages, inability to pass the basic academic tests, etc… So he’s completely misleading the public with a false statistic to make his point sound more dramatic.

In the world of science, that’s malfeasance. He’s a smart guy. I don’t believe it was by accident because he does it over and over again. His speech is rife with that sort of thing. It’s cherry picking data to support your opinion – the classic Wellness Influencer/Grifter move. Once do you start doing that regularly it’s impossible to take anything you say seriously. If he were the run of the mill TikTok influencer I wouldn’t care. I have the choice to believe Gary Brecka, The Glucose Goddess, Bobby Parish, or Dr. Berg if I want. I don’t have a choice when the HHS Secretary is using bad or cherry picked data to make decisions.

His decision to ban his list of artificial dyes is projected to cost industrial production somewhere between the high hundred millions to low billion dollars in retooling, labeling, regulation compliance, and supply chain disruption/procurement changes. The current guess is a 10-15% cost increase passed on to consumers.

All for what? A few nebulous studies that say ultra high doses of some dyes might lead to hyperactivity in kids? Really, that’s it? Ah but the EU banned those dyes, why wouldn’t we? Did you know that many of those dyes ARE used in the EU, just under a different name? Or that many of the “natural” dyes used in the EU are banned by the U.S.? Did you know some of the red dye substitutes the EU uses are derived from cochineal insects (Dactylopius coccus) and that resulting acid is a red anthraquinone glycoside, and is often used as a sodium or calcium salt for solubility. That sounds like a yummy additive for your kids yogurt (it’s in cosmetics as well).

So the first move out of the gate for the MAHA movement is to ban something that I guarantee nobody even thought about prior to this election cycle, to fix an problem that nobody can actually prove is impacting anyone, at an enormous cost to the consumer. Way to go MAHA! But at least my ingredients are “natural” now and not some scary sounding chemical name. Pssst – everything is a chemical, even natural things.

I honestly appreciate that the Administration wants to make America healthy again. It should be a priority. But blaming my obesity on Nabisco and ultra palatable foods is like blaming my speeding tickets on Ford because my car is capable of going 120 MPH. Twinkies were invented in 1930 and the calorie content is the same today as it was then (yes, I looked it up). The reason we didn’t have an obesity crisis back then and we do now is multi-faceted… but I guarantee some mysterious chemical and processing done by an evil food cabal is not the root cause. Lack of physical activity, advertising, portion size, mental health, and body positivity movements come way ahead of chemicalphobia in the list of reasons.

I don’t know what the thinking was behind attacking food dyes as the first priority for MAHA, but it was a bad look. Coming out with a gaggle of Wellness Influencers, pseudoscience, and questionable statistics does not inspire confidence.

I can hardly wait until he goes after seed oils. The Wellness Influencers will be barking like performing seals, overjoyed that they’ve mandated deep frying french fries in beef tallow. It’s all about health you know.

Daily Life, Diet, Government, Health

Are You Sure You Want To Ban That?

It’s the buzzing that I hate the most. The ridiculous LED bulbs I’m required to have makes my tinnitus worse and they flicker in a weird way. We live in a hundred year old house with older non LED compliant dimmer switches and wiring connections that I’m sure aren’t the best. Good old incandescent bulbs worked just fine. Unfortunately the Bush administration decided that in the name of energy efficiency the federal government would ban incandescent light bulbs. An incandescent bulb costs something like .60 cents a day to operate. If I can afford it, why can’t I use whatever type of lightbulb I want? Clearly the government knows better than you. Besides, we have to save all those watts for the mandated electric vehicles we’re dumping on the grid.

Plastic bags. Straws. Vehicle auto-stop. Light bulbs. The government loves to regulate things. The federal register for 2024 is over 100,000 pages. They’ve added over 3,000 new regulations just this year. Every single physical object you encounter in your daily life is impacted by some sort of regulation. Either how it’s manufactured, shipped, packaged, sold, or used is regulated by the government.

As a certified contrarian and libertarian-ish small government person, I want the least regulation possible. I don’t want big brother deciding for me what sort of light bulb I can have. Should the government impose some regulations? Of course. Preventing Walmart from selling schedule one narcotics is probably a good thing. Keeping heavy industrial chemicals out of our waterways makes me happy. The problem is that regulations are a slippery slope. You start with good intentions and the next thing you know you have ridiculous EPA mandated plastic gas can spouts that nobody can operate. (I’ve spilled way more gas filling my lawn mower with those stupid spouts than I ever did with the old school ones)

Mrs Troutdog and I had a discussion about this last night in the context of RFK Jr. and banning “poisons and toxins” from our food. She’s all for it. MAHA all the way. Fuck that yellow dye number 5. She was not pleased that I didn’t agree. My argument is that you need to be careful what you wish for. The law of unintended consequences is always a factor.

Take RFK Jr’s desire to force soda companies to remove high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) and go back to “regular” sugar. Sugar sweetened coke (Mexican coke) has more calories and more sodium. Is that really what you want? Do you really think people consuming multiple sodas a day are worried about HFCS? If you think I need to be protected from HFCS, what’s next? There is no dose of alcohol that’s healthy. Alcohol has a higher health cost to the nation each year than drinking soda and HFCS. Should we ban alcohol? How about tobacco? Apples contain cyanide. Time for an apple ban? Perhaps we should mandate maximum serving sizes at restaurants? Nobody is allowed to serve more than 800 calories per plate. Why is Starbucks even allowed to sell a 600 calorie Frappuccino? So sorry Dunk’n Donuts, your time is up. Americans are fat and unhealthy, so clearly we can’t be trusted to make our own health decisions. It’s time for big daddy government to step in.

I celebrate the idea of a secretary of HHS promoting a healthy lifestyle. I’m all in. But do it via aggressive information campaigns and labeling, not bans. Especially not bans based upon sketchy pseudo science. (I’m looking out for you maligned seed oils)

You can’t be protected from everything. Sometimes humans intentionally make bad choices. We drink. We smoke. We eat too many calories and don’t exercise. We don’t wear our seatbelts. There isn’t a single person in this country who thinks any of those things are good for us, yet we do ’em anyway. So the question is how much should the government protect us from ourselves?

In a perfect world we’d go back to foods that have been completely stripped of any type of preservative, additive, coloring, and flavoring. No hormones, antibiotics, or pesticides. 100% natural everything. Cook the way our grandparents did. Combined with limiting portion sizes and exercise, we’d be a healthier nation for sure. But here’s the dirty little secret – you can already do that today. You control the products you choose to buy. You decide how much processed food you consume. If you can afford it you can source all your food from local farms and shop at Whole Foods exclusively. Cook everything from scratch. It’s entirely in your control to drink only natural spring water from recycled glass bottles. If you think HFCS sweetened beverages are unhealthy… then don’t drink them.

I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure if you’re consuming enough Fruit Loops to reach toxic levels of yellow dye number 5 you have other diet and health problems. Government bans aren’t going to save you. Arm people with information and knowledge, encourage healthy behavior, reward the health care system for promoting preventative strategies… then get out of the way.

People will make bad choices. Darwin always finds a way to thin the herd. I’m ok with that. But if Secretary Kennedy steps in and messes up the taste and color of my Cheez-It crackers, I’m going to be pissed.

Daily Life, Health

How Old Are You?

Age is one of those things you can’t escape. Like the slow drift of the continental plates, it’s going to happen whether you want it to or not. It was one of the things that fascinated me as an RN. To see a consistent population of people, usually in their 60’s-70’s, who manifested their apparent age wildly different. A 70 year old who still rides bikes would be in the room next to a 60 year old who looked 90. Why such a difference? Why do people age at such different rates? I got to thinking about this because I’m currently reading a book on evolutionary anthropology (don’t ask) and was very intrigued when I ran across this quote:

“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was?”

Leroy Satchel Paige

Unless you were born into the Hadza tribe in Africa or maybe grew up in some weird religious cult that didn’t celebrate birthdays – you know how old you are. But what if you didn’t? What if all you could go on was how you “felt”. I don’t think I look like my actual age. Sure, I’m starting to sport a little bit of gray here and there but not much. I have friends who are younger than me who are almost entirely gray. I probably don’t dress appropriately for my actual age. Plenty of shorts and flip flops. I had to break down and go buy a sport coat a few months ago for an event because I didn’t have one. Without knowing what people really think, I’d guess that on appearance alone I look maybe five years younger than I really am (maybe that’s wishful thinking).

How I feel is much different. The impedance scale I use calculates out my metabolic age based upon weight, body fat, BMI, etc… It thinks I’m four years older than I really am. Probably correct given my current conditioning. I’ve also reached an age where I have a never ending series of aches and pains. A rotating litany of things that hurt. An old shoulder injury. Legs and knees that ache from five straight days of skiing and mountain biking. A weird foot pain that won’t go away. My body certainly knows it’s not twenty any more.

Mental age… that’s hard to say. Somewhere in my late thirties maybe (again, maybe wishful thinking). I still think I can do all the physical things I used to. Perhaps most important, I still want to do all those things. I’m not quite ready to give it all up, head to back porch and just watch sunsets. Slightly contradictory, I’m also starting to feel a maturity of thought that I don’t think I had before. It’s hard to explain. While I’m not very good at expressing it, my brain seems to explore thoughts on multiple different levels unlike what it did when I was ten or more years younger (that could also be the nightly bourbon making me feel wise). I’m not as quick to jump on whatever the conventional wisdom of the day is, like when I was younger. If someone makes a claim about something, I’m much more inclined to wait and see before believing it. At the same time, I find myself having a much stronger sense of right and wrong in the things I do believe. I suspect with age comes a decreasing need to care what others think.

I don’t know. It’s an interesting thought experiment. I hope I’m one of those guys who’s still riding bikes when I’m 75. Not just for the physical component, but to still have the desire to be out there enjoying life at that age. I hope I’m still able to make a cognizant argument about some world event when I’m an old geezer and not just be a grumpy old “get off my lawn” guy.

I wonder what makes people age. Is it diet? Exercise? Mental stimulation? Are some people just born with a zest and curiosity for life that others aren’t, or is it something that you cultivate on your own? Excluding disease, is there there something I can do to hold off aging or is it just luck of the cards I was dealt?

How about you – how old do you feel if you didn’t know when you were born?

Daily Life, Diet, Health

It’s A Problem Of Volume

The numbers are just depressing. But because of those pesky laws of thermodynamics, you can’t escape them. You can’t cheat them. The numbers don’t lie. One pound is 3,500 calories. To lose one pound a week you need to create a 500 calorie deficit every day. That’s it. No more or less complicated than that. Create the deficit and you lose weight. Go over and you gain. Simple, right?

The depressing part is that we’ve lost all sense of volume. While the internet has convinced you that seed oils are the devils work, the real problem is that you and I have no real concept of how many calories we consume. Our serving sizes have become ginormous. When you see what an actual serving size is, it no longer looks like it’s enough food. I’d still be hungry if that’s all I ate!

I start every morning with the full intention of tracking exactly my caloric intake. For example, this morning I resolved to eat a much smaller breakfast than normal. I made three scrambled eggs with a little bit of cheese and some avocado. Healthy, right? When you measure out the actual amount of cheese I used and factor in the butter I put in the pan, my breakfast was 800 calories. That’s approaching almost half of my daily calorie budget to hit my calorie deficit. Like I said, depressing. Because of that breakfast volume, I can now only have a small piece of steak and some broccoli for dinner. That will give me just enough calories to include a protein shake mid-day. That sucks.

Oh sure you can buy yourself some extra calories with exercise, but not enough to make up for the volume we normally eat. A three mile walk or a strength training session in the gym burns maybe a couple hundred calories. It gets you a little room in the calorie budget, but not much.

I live in a state of perpetual food guilt. I have a constant mental running total of roughly how many calories I think I’ve eaten. I bargain with myself all day long. I’ll eat this protein bar or half cup of skinny pop popcorn now, and then I’ll eat only half the steak tonight. I’ll have a beer with dinner, and I’ll just skip breakfast tomorrow to make up for it. It’s gotten to the point that I dread the idea of going out to dinner with friends. A restaurant menu is now just a list of things I can’t eat. It’s mentally exhausting and leads to never ending cravings. I don’t know what the answer is.

That’s not true – I know what the answer is, I just can’t seem to get there. For me, it’s an issue of activity. Being busy. When I was at my thinest I worked three 12 hour shifts in a row. I chose to eat only one meal a day on workdays. It worked because as a nurse I was so busy during my shift there was no time to think about food. I left the house at 06:30 am and got home at 8:00 pm and sprinted all day. It was easy to ignore hunger. I ate a massive meal when I got home, but it was still probably only 1200 calories at most. That gave me my weekly deficit. On my off days I was crazy active and busy. Trail running and mountain biking every day. I was too busy to think about food.

Now I’m home all day and for various reasons I have not been as active. Oh sure I do an activity almost every day – skiing, a workout, or a hike with the dog. But not with the intensity I used to. And I’m left with a lot of time to think about the pantry and fridge. Wondering what I can cut out tonight so I can have a bowl of popcorn now.

So it’s clear that I have some problems to solve. The first is to get a handle on exactly how many calories I’m consuming. It’s time for at least a few weeks of weighing and measuring everything. I need to understand portion size and stop eyeballing volume. I should probably meal prep, but that just sucks. I might need to resort to a pre-made, calorie controlled meal service. Anything to keep the volume in check.

Second, and probably most important, I need to find a way to get busy again. Out of the house and away from the fridge. A day full of activities so I’m not thinking about being hungry. Truly a first world problem.

It’s crazy how powerful the food addiction is. Any addiction, I suppose. The moment you decide to tackle the problem, your brain goes into overdrive and decides to remind you all day long of the very thing you’re trying to quit. Breaking that cycle of thinking about and craving something is one of the hardest things to do mentally.

So, we’re ready to start a new week. As the old saying goes, “If it can’t be measured, it can’t be managed”. Weighing and measuring everything.

Meanwhile, I’m off to a family Sunday brunch and trying to ignore all the food. Sigh. How did we get to this point?

Cool, Daily Life, Motivation, Travel

Chasing The Stoke

The stoke is a surfing term that started appearing in the 1950’s. “Stoke” is a feeling of exhilaration or happiness that you find in something. It can also be a feeling of confidence. “Dude, I’m so stoked – did you see that wave I caught!” Surfers spend their time “chasing the stoke”, meaning driving up and down the coast (or flying to exotic destinations) looking for that perfect wave to fuel the stoke. I mention this because once upon a time in a galaxy far, far, away, I fancied myself as a surfer. In reality I was a really bad surfer, but it didn’t matter. When I caught a decent wave, it gave me such a feeling of exhilaration… I knew exactly what the stoke was at those moments. And I wanted more.

I am officially declaring the next 356 days the year of the stoke. I’ll admit that I’ve lost the stoke lately. It’s time to get it back. It’s time to do things that get you excited and wanting more. This year will be about experiences that make you want to wake up early so you can plan out the next thing. I want to get back to chasing the stoke.

So in no particular order, here are the stoke-inducing resolutions for the coming year:

  • You can’t chase the stoke if you look like a homeless street bum. Regardless of setting – island wear, city exploration, or climbing mountains, if you look good you’ll feel better about yourself. And if you feel good, you’ll be more pumped to go find the stoke. We will look good this year.
  • It goes without saying, if you resemble the Pillsbury Doughboy it’s hard to look good. Not impossible, but certainly harder. We want to remove obstacles to finding the stoke. Not being squishy around the middle is a priority.
  • With the zombie apocalypse and/or civil war looming at any moment, we will strive to be harder to kill. Confidence makes finding the stoke easier.
  • I have plenty of adrenaline-producing hobbies. Mountain bikes, motorcycles, skiing, etc… These things shall be a daily priority to keep the desire for chasing the stoke primed.
  • Documenting the stoke helps maintain that need to keep finding it. Looking back at pictures or video and thinking whoa that was cool, makes you want to go do it again. Creativity will be a priority this year. Besides, let’s be honest – who doesn’t like showing off your stoke a bit?
  • It’s harder to feel the stoke when you only surf at the same spot. It gets boring. We will chase the stoke this year. Little towns, museums, epic landscapes, picturesque barns, quirky stores and tacky tourist spots are all on the menu. We will hit the road to find the stoke this year.
  • Part of finding the stoke is developing habits that make you happy and content. Finding your zen. Making a point to go to the coffee shop several times a week to relax and talk about where to find your stoke next. Getting massages. Creating morning routines that don’t involve hours of mindless TV or surfing the internet. Walks after dinner and sitting in the sun first thing in the morning. There’s a reason so many surfers are into Buddha, mindfulness, and connecting with nature – being grounded leads to contentment. You can’t find the stoke if you start your day angry about geopolitics.
  • When I was a teenager, I was able to chase the stoke fueled by pop tarts, gas station burritos and NoDoz. That is not a recipe for success now. This year we will be mindful and deliberate about food. We will take the time to make a decent cup of coffee or tea. We will spend time cooking with a focus on real food, taste, and healthy recipes. We will combat the urge to eat crap because we were too lazy to plan ahead. Clean, simple, and not processed. Life is too short to not enjoy food (in appropriate portions).
  • It’s hard to chase the stoke when you’re weighed down with things. If something isn’t adding value to my life, or I haven’t used it in a year – it’s gone. I’m too old to be collecting stuff. This year needs to be a focus on minimalism and being deliberate. The things I surround myself with need to be comfortable, make me happy to be around, be of good quality, and be utilitarian. If it’s not helping me chase the stoke, or improving my mood and environment – it’s gone. Clean and simple is the answer. Clutter and disarray are the enemy of finding the stoke.

So that’s it. My plan for the year. Easier said than done, I know. But when you sit back and look at the list, why wouldn’t you be doing those things? The mere fact that I have to make these resolutions to myself shows just how off track I’ve gotten from what’s important.

We’re only here once. Let’s make sure we make it a life worth living.

“We are what we repeatedly do, therefore, excellence is not an act but a habit.” - Aristotle

Daily Life, Government

Be Prepared, A Motto

Does anyone remember the Boy Scouts? I know I’m dating myself, but I did the whole scouting thing. Eventually we moved to a different city so I never finished my Eagle Scout, but I was pretty involved as a kid. If you didn’t know, the scout motto is “Be Prepared”. When the scouting founder, Robert Baden-Powell, was asked “be prepared for what?” He replied, “Why, for any old thing”. This way of thinking was drilled into me even further when I was a member of a Search and Rescue team. I saw first hand what happened when people wandered into the woods without adequate preparation. (hint, it was never good)

A looooong time ago I lived in California, in the Bay Area. The possibility of the big earthquake was very real. Having a minor part in my cities emergency management system, I realized what a shit show things would be if the big quake really did hit. Trust me, your government is not ready. If a couple of overpasses came down, say goodbye to your food supply (grocery stores only have 2-3 days on hand at any given time). As a result, I had a fair amount of food and water stockpiled. I felt pretty good about my ability to ride out multiple weeks of no power, water, or food.

I no longer live in California (thank god). My little part of the world is reasonably immune from natural disaster. We have plenty of water sources, don’t suffer from droughts, don’t have earthquakes, floods, tornadoes, or hurricanes. We don’t have the civil unrest plaguing so many cities right now. While we’re starting to see some homeless and a bit of increased drug traffic… snowy winters tend to keep that somewhat in check. Basically our main threat is the Yellowstone super volcano blowing. If that happens, we’re all screwed so it’s not really worth worrying about.

So as you can probably guess, my “prepping” has gotten somewhat lax. I still stock quite a bit of food and things that go bang to defend the aforementioned food. Water is not an issue. So the question is, should I be preparing more?

It’s been a long time since I gave this question any thought. But lately… the political, social, and geopolitical situation has me more nervous. We’re closer to WWIII kicking off than we’ve ever been. An EMP strike is a very real possibility. Side note, read “One Second After” if you want a realistic picture of what that would look like. Complete South Africa-like social collapse is certainly in the realm of possibility. I’d like to think my part of the world is isolated enough to avoid much of it, but you never know. China is nearing a collapse. Inflation, fuel prices and fertilizer shortages are skyrocketing the price of food. The price of cattle futures has doubled. Supply chain interruptions and food scarcity generally lead to bad things. A terrorist attack on our power grid? Yeah, that would be bad. So far this year, 160 people on the terrorist watchlist have been stopped on the border. How many snuck through?

The point is, I think it’s time to starting thinking about worst case scenarios. I filter “prepping” down to the following:

  • Does my family have enough food, water, and the ability to cook it for several months? Can we function without electricity for that length of time? Do I have the ability to defend it from people trying to take it?

That’s it. No more, no less. Nobody’s bugging out or going on the long march. We’re not setting up radio communications or coordinating neighborhood assault/patrol teams. I’m not digging a fallout shelter. None of that’s realistic. If something really bad happened, could we hunker down for sixty days and survive? If it’s still really bad beyond that… well, it’s probably end of days and Mad Max time. Nobody but the gangs and most brutal will survive that. I’m not sure I’d want to be around at that point.

My personal weak points are cooking, heating, and light. The hard part is that the solutions to those problems are somewhat expensive. It’s hard to spend money on something you hope to never use. Depending on what happens in the world this next year – it may be time to pony up and prepare.

How about you? Could your family survive a couple months without power or government infrastructure? One month? A week? It’s worth thinking about.

Whether contemplating the societal breakdown scenarios, or going backpacking, fishing, or riding a motorcycle into the backcountry, there’s a saying I like:

“Expect to self-rescue. No one is coming.”

Keep that in mind when planning stuff and you’ll be better off than most of the population.

Diet, Health

Yum, Fermented Milk

I had a follow up meeting this week with my gastroenterologist to discuss strategies to fix my gut issues. Two things jumped out at me from the discussion. The first was weight loss. The doc is a very fit guy who’s into brazilin jiu-jitsu. We’d been talking about diet, and he laughed and said, “these days I have to be careful about who I say this to, but losing just ten pounds would make a huge difference in how your gut feels”.

What struck me is not that I could lose some weight (I already know that), but that in today’s day and age he has to be careful about telling someone that. It’s sad that we no longer want to hear the truth. We want to be told to take this one pill and it will fix everything. In reality, we’d all be better off if doctors felt like they could freely tell their patients that they’re a disgusting fat-body and it’s time to do something about it. Unfortunately, that would offend our delicate sensibilities and someone would probably sue for damaging their self-esteem.

The second thing he said is that people don’t understand how long it takes to repair the gut microbiome when things go haywire. He felt it was going to take six months to a year to get back to normal. He said he laughs when people say they can remove a particular food or try a diet for a week or two and think it will do anything. Several months is the minimum to see real change. He said the gut is incredibly complex and we still don’t understand much about why it gets out of whack.

My official diagnosis is post-disease IBS. I contracted something at some point, and it threw my gut into a downward spiral. When we originally talked, I’d said Covid was the last time I’d been sick. He didn’t initially think that was the cause. When we met this time, he said he followed up with some research and studies are starting to show that Covid is having an impact on gut health. Interesting.

Anyway, as a part of repairing things we talked about foods and supplements I should be taking. Big amounts of protein, wheat dextrin fiber, yogurt with live cultures, and fermented foods like Kefir. I had to Google kefir. I’d seen it in the store but didn’t know what it actually was. It’s fermented milk. Uhhhh… I don’t know if I can do that.

When I was in my early twenties I worked at a restaurant. During my break I was in the habit of chugging one of those mini cartons of milk. One fateful evening, I grabbed a carton and started drinking it down like I was shot gunning a beer. The carton as almost empty before I realized the milk was… chunky. I ran to a garbage can and vomited up all that spoiled and curdled milk. I haven’t drunk milk since.

So you can see why I’d be a little hesitant to drink fermented milk on purpose. I think I’ll put that on the back burner for now. Besides, it turns out sauerkraut has the same benefits. I like sauerkraut. I like hot dogs. I could do a sauerkraut dog a day. What could go wrong with that?

Health

A Vague Diagnosis

If you’ve been following along at home, you’ll know that I’ve been suffering from some odd stomach issues recently. Bothersome enough that I started down the path of seeing my regular provider who ran a bunch of tests and then referred me to a gastroenterologist. That spawned more consultation and tests. Finally, we recently did the thing with long tubes in multiple orifices and cameras. And the results are… mixed.

The gastroenterologist did find some things, but nothing that clearly explains everything that I’ve been feeling. I hate that vagueness. At least if you blow out your knee or break a bone it’s clear what the problem is, and you can construct a plan to repair things. With this stomach thing it’s a whole lot of you can try this, or this, and sometimes this works. Oh, by the way, this other thing sometimes helps.

I hate that. I want a pill, a surgery, or a specific food to avoid so I can get back to feeling normal. I don’t want a year of experimenting with Himalayan bee extract heated to exactly 98.7 degrees and only eating while reclined on my left side. I don’t have the patience for long term experimentation.

But alas, it’s now clear I’m going to have to become a gut health expert. I’m going to have to be a master of the microbiome. I will know more about poop than any single person should have to know. I promise to do my best not to become that person who chimes in with “helpful advice” anytime food is mentioned.

“I went to the most amazing BBQ place last weekend!”

“Well, you do know that the carcinogens from burning fat are 83% more destructive to your cellular mitochondria than drinking pure ethyl alcohol, right?”

If you ever catch me doing that, you have my permission to whack me upside the head with a 2×4. Meanwhile, excuse me while I go take my latest batch of supplements, medication, and fiber. Sigh…

Daily Life, Health

Things Will Calm Down

Every once in a while, you stumble across something that just makes you feel seen. As in, oh crap that’s me. This morning it was this:

“Adult life is saying to yourself ‘after this week, things will calm down a little’ over and over again until you die.”

This completely sums up my diet and fitness journey.

There are contractors coming to the house this morning. I have a long drive tomorrow. We still need to find a gift for that birthday party. It’s going to rain hard on Thursday. We have that dinner thing on Friday. I need to get the yard done. I can’t put off the oil change any longer. We leave on Monday for two days.

Once I get back, things will calm down and I’ll dive back into the diet and workout.

This is me most weeks. I’ll go two-three days of being consistent, and then something always seems to come up that throws things off.

Unless you live on a deserted island, completely unplugged… life will never “calm down”. I need to stop feeding myself that lie. The problem is that diet and fitness was never a routine in my life. It’s never been a priority.

It needs to be a rule that doesn’t get broken. It needs to be just part of who you are. I wake up, have coffee, and go for a run. Period. I go to the gym on my lunch break. No matter what. It’s just what I do. I play at some sort of sport every weekend. It’s the rule.

Paying attention to what I eat doesn’t feel natural. It’s always something that’s a change. “Starting Monday, I’m eating clean”. It feels forced because it’s not part of what I normally do. Same thing with exercise. Since it’s not part of my normal routine, it’s easy to abandon it when life gets busy.

Like brushing your teeth, it just needs to be a normal part of your daily routine. I wish this had been drilled into me as a kid. Changing your daily routine after twenty years is not easy. It’s no different than if you suddenly had to switch to working the night shift. Nothing about that change would feel normal. But eventually, it would.

The interesting thing about that analogy is that you’d find a way to do it because it was your job. You’d have to. The secret sauce to diet and exercise success is finding a way to tell yourself that this is your new job. Because without it, your long-term prognosis is poor.

It’s part of my new rules. I brush my teeth. I don’t leave dishes in the sink. The dog gets a run. I pay attention to what I eat. I get eight hours of sleep. I exercise. Life will just have to work around that.

Diet, Health

Keto Fixes Everything

A quick update on going back to keto. Ten days ago I wrote about being forced to return to the diet I have a love/hate relationship with. Because I have a medical reason to stay motivated, the transition has been relatively easy. It took two days to get back into ketosis (the body does remember, even after several years). I’ve been maintaining 1.2-1.4 mmol/L every day, with spikes to 1.9 mmol/L following exercise. I’ve dropped 11 pounds. All-in-all, a good start.

So that’s it, keto fixes everything right?

Ah… no. The stomach issues I’m dealing with are slightly better, but certainly not gone. I probably feel better because I’m not binge-eating chips, cheese, bread, and I’ve lost some weight. I’m not convinced food has been the source of my woes.

But, but, you lost weight with keto. Isn’t that reason enough to stay on it? Sorry, but keto didn’t cause my weight loss. You dump a bunch of water weight initially when you first get into ketosis. And… the magic of a caloric deficit. We went out to eat with friends and I had a burger, no bun, a small salad instead of fries, and iced tea instead of a beer. I’ve been eating breakfast and then skiing all day (every day) and not eating again until dinner. I’ve had a huge calorie deficit combined with daily high intensity exercise. It’s not rocket science.

So why bother? Just go back to eating carbs.

A few reasons. I made a commitment to stick with this for a month so I can legitimately tell my doctor if foods are contributing to my symptoms. Second, keto makes maintaining a calorie deficit easy. Independent of my gut issue, I need to drop another 20 pounds. At this point I’ll do what it takes to achieve that. If keto keeps me on track, so be it. The other big reason is that when in ketosis, I don’t have the major hunger pangs if I don’t eat. I can ski all day and not get that bonk feeling I would on a heavy carb-based diet.

But it’s hard, I admit. I turned down going to pizza with friends last night. I honestly didn’t think I’d have the willpower to sit in front of a steaming hot pizza and not indulge. I feel bad because friends and family are offering to change the food they serve to something I can eat. I appreciate it, but I don’t want others to have to change their eating habits for me.

I wish I knew why food discipline is so hard. We have an unopened bag of chips in the pantry, along with pretzels, and popcorn. I probably walked into that pantry ten times last night and stared at those forbidden items. Fortunately, I held out and opted for drinking a crapload of water. If I wasn’t worried about dropping out of ketosis… I guarantee I would have splurged.

So, keto it is. At least for a month. I have no idea what happens after that.