Motivation, Daily Life, Cool

A State Of Flow

Have you ever had that feeling when you’re working on something, maybe writing or a woodworking project in the garage, and time just disappears? You blink and two hours went by? That’s the flow state. It’s the state where we’re maximally primed for learning, acquiring new skills, knowledge, and productivity. We all want to be in the flow state.

I recently read a book called “Gnar Country: Growing Old, Staying Rad” by Steven Kotler. I knew nothing about him or the book. The description talked about the authors desire to improve as a 50+ year old skier. I am both a skier and 50+, so I was sold. What I didn’t expect was that the book was more about general self-improvement, motivation, and using the flow state to gain physical skills than it was about skiing. Skiing just happened to be the activity he was trying to get better at.

I was instantly intrigued by this idea of the flow state. I didn’t realize it at the moment, but I’ve had it a few times this season skiing – and it was identical to what the author described. About to drop down a line that’s slightly steeper and more technical than my skill level. That little feeling of nervousness/fear in the pit of your stomach. Launching down the run and having 100% concentration on every move. Finishing and having that little moment of elation as you realize, holy shit I did it! Suddenly you’re super excited to do it again or find another hard run. Flow state.

That nervousness, concentration, and final little hit of dopamine is what primes the pump for learning. Looking back, I realized that there were only three other activities where I’ve legitimately been in the flow state. The first was way back when I was a software engineer. Every once in a while, while trying to solve a hard problem I’d find time would simply disappear. Three hours of coding could easily go by before I’d look up and realize what time it was. The second has been trying to teach myself video editing. Hours can go by as I master one transition or effect after another. The final scenario has been as a nurse. Dealing with an intense trauma situation, focus gets incredibly concentrated, and time disappears.

Learning video editing is a great example. I’ll see someone’s video and wonder; hmm how did they do that? Do some research, trial and error, and you have something that sort of looks like what you saw. More tweaking. More polishing. Suddenly, whoa I did it! The key is that little bump of dopamine. You want more. You try another effect. And all of a sudden, it’s hours later.

As a sidebar, I recently read that social media is one of the main reasons our younger generation has such a profound lack of curiosity. Broadly speaking they’re not interested in exploring, going outside, or risk taking. The reason is that the endless scrolling on TikTok or Instagram keeps giving them little bumps of dopamine. They don’t need to find another outlet for that min-rush. Having an entire generation numbed by constant scrolling on a screen is a disturbing trend long-term I suspect.

Anyway, I was intrigued by this idea enough that I researched the author’s other books. Turns out he’s also written a book called “The Art of the Impossible: A Peak Performance Primer“. This one delves into the neurophysiology of how and why the flow state happens, and how to cue yourself to get into the flow state. I’m about halfway done and find it fascinating.

The author has a level of discipline and motivation that I don’t think I could achieve… but if I could adopt even just 25% of what he does, my productivity would massively improve. Now, I’m not looking to build the next great start-up company or launch a non-profit to feed the hungry. But I am looking to have more focus and purpose with what I do with my time. The ideas the author has around routine and finding that flow state seem ideal to help me direct my energy.

And going back to that first book, while I may not (will not) ever be hucking off cliffs on skis – I would like to make that next big transition in my skiing ability. Just like the author did in Gnar Country, starting the day after this ski season ends (which is next week) on a program to be ready to enter the flow state next season is a worthy goal.

The problem is it involves squats. Lots of squats.

I hate squats.

Cool, Daily Life, Health

A Slave To The Numbers

I said I was going to wait, but I couldn’t help myself. I bought a Fitbit. I went with just the basic wrist one. The only thing I’m interested in is the heart rate monitor. We’re on day three of wearing it full-time and I’m getting obsessed with checking on my heart rate.

Overall, I’m pleased with my resting heart rate. Averaging 55 bpm. Higher than it was when I was running, but I’m ok with that for now. The purpose of the monitor was so that I can ensure that I’m in zone 2 when walking/running to maximize building an aerobic base. Today was the first chance I had to see what happens while out on my power walk. Turns out, I can’t get into zone 2!

While walking (on flat ground) as fast as I can go without breaking into a jog, my heart rate hovered around 110-115. Based upon the various calculators I found, zone 2 for me should be 120-130 bpm. As soon as I started an extremely slow jog… my heart rate went to 135-140. It didn’t make any difference what I did – I couldn’t get to that 120-130 zone. I was always below or above.

Has anyone else experienced this? I’m not sure what to do. Would I be better off continuing with the fast power walk that’s below, or the extremely slow jog that’s too high? I consulted Dr. Google, but no luck. We’ll see what the heart rate trend is over the next few days.

While the original purpose of the Fitbit was so that I can monitor my heart rate, it has a bunch of other features that I had no interest in. That is, until I discovered the sleep tracking. I’ve had two nights with it now, and I’m amazed at how accurate it is. Both nights it pegged the time I went to bed and woke within +/- 5 minutes or so. How in the world does it know? Technology is amazing.

But now, I have a whole new set of numbers and stats to obsess over. My sleep scores are terrible. Heart rate and Sp02 are fine, but everything else is awful. I thought I was a good sleeper, but apparently not. I was not aware of something called the heart rate variability score. This is supposed to be an indicator of fitness. You want a larger (greater) variability in your heart rate. Meaning, while keeping the same total number of beats per minute, the time between each beat should vary. Mine the last two nights has been low. As in, bottom percentile for my age low. I guess I’m basically a metronome. I was perfectly happy with my sleep habits before, but now I’m going to worry each night about what the metrics are going to show in the morning.

It is now officially my mission to improve that number. I have no idea how, but I’m going to do it. I can see it already… six months from now I’ll be sleeping in a separate room that is specially climate controlled, sound deadened, and has all the electrical circuits shut off to remove any EMF messing with my circadian rhythm.

Maybe I shouldn’t have bought that Fitbit after all…

Daily Life

Are You A Good Human?

Something happened yesterday that made me smile. I was taking the hound for a hike in the foothills. At this particular trailhead there’s a few garbage cans in the first quarter mile or so for depositing of pet waste. The hound did his business almost as soon as he started running, so I gathered it up in the poop bag and keep walking up the trail to where the garbage can is. I come around the corner and… no can?? I was standing there looking perplexed and then noticed some guy was coming towards me, walking back to the trailhead.

He said, “I’ll take your bag. I’m going that way anyway.” I thanked him and said I really appreciate it. He said, “No problem we have to look out for each other, right? Just be sure to pay it forward”.

I don’t know why, but that simple act put a smile on my face. There’s a lot of negativity in the news lately so it was nice to encounter a good human.

This reminded me of something called the “Shopping Cart Theory”:

The shopping cart is the ultimate litmus test for whether a person is capable of self-governing. To return the shopping cart is an easy, convenient task and one which we all recognize as the correct, appropriate thing to do. To return the shopping cart is objectively right. There are no situations other than dire emergencies in which a person is not able to return their cart. Simultaneously, it is not illegal to abandon your shopping cart. Therefore the shopping cart presents itself as the apex example of whether a person will do what is right without being forced to do it.

What kind of person are you? Do you always return the cart? Only when the return stall is close by or if someone is watching you? Never return it?

Now go enjoy the weekend. Get outside. Pay it forward.

And return the damn cart.

Daily Life

Weekly Wrap Up

It’s Friday people. It’s been a pretty good week. Lots of news going on, plenty of activities happening. Time for some random contrarian thoughts.

  • Wednesday was in the top 5 of my all-time best ski days. We ended up with 8-9 inches of the fluffy stuff dumping overnight in town. Up on the hill there was 16+ inches up on top. Hard to describe how much fun it was. We skied until the last lift stopped running. A great way to finish out the season. Still a few more weeks of spring skiing to come…

  • I finally stopped being lazy and built out the wall-mounted ski rack in the mud room I’d been promising to finish for at least a year (or two). I’m very pleased with how it came out. I’m not very good with that sort of thing, so it’s a great feeling of accomplishment when I do some sort of home improvement like that. (insert Tim the Tool Man grunt)

  • I had to back a large trailer up a narrow, icy driveway. A little ugly, but I got it done. Backing a trailer is an interesting skill that takes a lot of practice. Not something I ever had an opportunity to do as a young adult. Should be one of those mandatory basic dude stuff skills.

  • Ukraine surfaced again as a topic in the pending presidential race. DeSantis had the audacity to call it a territorial dispute. The warmongering class clutched their pearls in horror and called him a Putin stooge. Recall the two main questions I’ve asked for a long time. 1) How is this in our strategic interest? 2) If you actually think Russia’s plan is to continue rolling into Poland after Ukraine, why is Europe not fully funding and massively mobilizing a defense?

  • The United States (and NATO) have done everything in their power to provoke this conflict. Don’t believe me? I highly recommend reading this short book on the subject: “How the West Brought War to Ukraine“. It may open your eyes a bit. If nothing else, it will give a prospective other than what the chattering class on the nightly news gives you.

  • My weight loss has completely stalled. I’m below maintenance calories. I haven’t snacked, cheated or otherwise sabatoged my eating. High protein, low carbs. I’ve completely cut out alcohol. I Nordic or alpine ski 4 days a week. My weight has remained static for over a week (even gone up a few of the days). Extremely frustrating. It’s hard to remain motivated to deprive oneself day after day when you see zero progress. Sigh.
  • I read a great substack this week (that I can’t find now) that described the technical details of what happened to the SVB bank fail. It reminded me of the ’08 financial crisis. The root causes are extremely complicated, despite the simplistic news summaries we see. Ultimately, it’s a systemic lack of oversight that enabled the failure (similar to ’08). I see no appetite for the financial or political world to make any changes. It’s not a good long-term recipe.

  • I’ve been following a gal who has set the record (demolished it) for consecutive ultramarathon runs. She’s on day 132 of running 32 miles a day. It just shows what we’re capable of if we choose to. Meanwhile, I ski two days in a row and tell myself I better take a break so I don’t overtrain. LOL

  • We’re down to the last ten episodes of the last season of Walking Dead. (no spoilers please!) We’ve gone from why did we ever stop watching, to this is dumb, to this is great. At the moment we’re back to this is just stupid. I’m ready for this series to be put out of its misery. I hope it finishes strong.

The weekend in my part of the world is looking to be sunny and 50+ degrees. We haven’t seen that for a while. I see motorcycle rides, dog hikes, and yard work in my future. Ya’ll go enjoy the weekend and try to be good humans.

Daily Life, Motivation

What’s Your Special Purpose?

“My dear family, guess what. Today I found out what my special purpose is for. Gosh what a great time I had. I wish my whole family could have been here with me. Maybe some other time as I intend to do this a lot. Every chance I get.”

– Navin R. Johnson, The Jerk

A few days ago, I was scrolling through YouTube and watched a clip of Lex Fridman talking about truly smart people. Lex has a BS and MS in computer science, and a PhD in electrical and computer engineering. He’s a research scientist at MIT (among other things). If he thinks someone is smart… they’re smart. He observed that the one common trait he sees in these folks is a complete and total mastery of whatever their field is.

I would agree. I’ve met a handful of people in my various careers who’d I consider experts. They just had an encyclopedic knowledge of their field. They could recite studies and papers off the top of their heads. They knew obscure formulas and calculations without needing to look up references. They knew the who’s who in that field. I am not one of those people. While I was good at my job and did well, I was never interested enough in my field to really dive in and truly master the subject. I suspect that’s true of most folks.

Last night I watched a silly movie called Burnt with Bradly Cooper. It’s about a chef who had a fall from grace and tries to make his mark in the food world again. What struck me was the complete and total passion the protagonist had for food. Actually, you could see it in all the chefs portrayed in the film. They all had a sincere love for what they did. Even at home you could see the care they put into making a simple meal.

Yes, I know it’s a movie. But I suspect the sentiment is largely true in the higher ends of the cooking world. And then it dawned on me. I don’t think I’ve ever had a passion for any pursuit. Like, ever.

Are there hobbies and things that I like to do? Of course. But I’m not passionate about them. I don’t have one hobby that I’ve completely dove into and understood from beginning to end. I don’t research the latest technology or who the current big names are. I don’t lose track of time reading about the latest and greatest aspects of whatever it is. I drift in and out of my hobbies over the years.

And it occurred to me that this may be what’s missing in my new retired life. A passion and a focus on something… anything. I find myself drifting from activity to activity, day to day, without any real purpose. If the snow’s good, I’ll ski. I hike the dog. Reading when the weather is bad. Household chores. My daily planning consists of looking at the weather report to decide what activity to do. I’m certainly not bored. But it’s beginning to feel a little like just killing time.

I wish I’d cultivated a passion for something years ago. If I had, now that I have the time, I could be wearing a train engineers’ hat and spending all my waking hours building a model train empire in the basement. So, I think it’s time. Time to dedicate myself 100% to a hobby. To become an expert in something.

I don’t know what it’s going to be yet. Cooking? Photography? Video? Start a business? Or maybe I pick a sport and devote myself to it? I don’t know. Like I said, I enjoy all the things I do. But none of them jump out at me as something I want to completely immerse myself in.

Maybe passion is learned? Maybe the passion comes after you dive in and begin the process? I don’t know. But I do know that I need to do something. Maybe I’ll just put all the activities in a hat and randomly pull one out?

Although, I do like trains. And I have a basement. Do they even make model trains anymore? Hmmm…

Cool, Diet, Health

Take This One Supplement

It’s funny how us humans seem to be predisposed to fall for the “one magic pill” syndrome. You know, the “eat this one food to lower your blood pressure” or “do this one exercise if you want tight abdominal muscles” sort of articles. I’m just as big a sucker as anyone else, even though I pride myself on being skeptical of… well, everything.

For example, just the other day I’d watched a podcast that talked about the importance of Zone 2 training. That’s the sweet spot for fat burning and building an aerobic base. Roughly 75% of your max heart rate. I’d forgotten I’d read an entire book on the subject at one time – “Training for the Uphill Athlete“. I immediately went out an did a fast power walk in the hills. I kept my pace to mostly just below starting to breathe heavily. I felt great when I was done and vowed to ensure I’m getting a minimum of three days a week of this type of exercise.

Me, being me, I immediately blew an hour researching heart rate monitors. Which are more accurate, chest straps or wrist/optical sensors? Should I just get a cheap Fitbit, or bite the bullet and get a dedicated running watch like the Garmin or Coros? After all, if I’m going to embrace the Zone 2 training I have to have a way to see what my actual heart rate is. Don’t I?

And then I came to my senses. At my level of conditioning, whether my heart rate is +/- 10 beats from whatever 75% of my max heart rate is will make zero difference. My conditioning is so far from what it was when I was running, anything I do is a benefit. An hour of effort at just below heavy breathing is close enough. When I’ve dropped weight and my cardio is sufficient to slow jog without breathing hard – then I’ll think about figuring out what my actual heart rate is.

I do this all the time to myself. I’ll see a YouTube video about some piece of exercise equipment and suddenly I have to have it. Meanwhile I don’t have the strength to do just basic bodyweight stuff or simple lifts with kettlebells. Some specialized piece of equipment isn’t going to magically make me stronger at this point. It’s like folks who spend gobs of money on carbon fiber this or that to shave grams off of their bicycles when you can just go lose a few pounds.

If you follow guys like Joe Rogan or Jocko, they’re always pushing various supplements for improved performance, brain function, strength gains, etc… I don’t disagree with the value of many of those things, but in most cases it’s tiny incremental improvements. That might make a big difference if you’re an athlete – but not much for the average person. You’ll make a bigger difference in how you feel by dropping the extra weight, eating real food, cutting the alcohol, getting stronger, and getting a good night sleep.

When you are at 15% body fat, running a respectable 10K time, and can crank out pullups and heavy deadlifts… then small incremental things make a difference. Until then, save your money.

P.S. In researching running watches, I stumbled upon the world of sleep trackers. The Whoop strap and Oura ring. Clearly my problem all this time has been not knowing how much time I spend in each sleep cycle. If only I knew that one simple thing, my training would improve exponentially! Researching now…

Health, Motivation

All-Cause Mortality Rates

“Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.”

― Arnold Schwarzenegger

Have I mentioned that I hate the gym? I’ve never liked it. It’s always been something that I half-heartedly do because I know I should. Some years I’m better at it than others, but it’s never been a real habit. I’ve been more diligent the last six months because I started seeing changes in my balance and coordination. But lately I’ve been slacking off due to my reoccurring stomach issues. It’s hard to be motivated to go lift heavy stuff when your stomach is all queasy. But yesterday I watched something that (hopefully) changed my mindset forever.

I stumbled on several podcasts by Dr Peter Attia and Layne Norton. They discuss many topics, but one of them was all-cause mortality and hazard ratios – the likelihood of you dying of something. A study was done of 122,000 people with an average age of 53. The study did a Vo2 max test on the subjects and ranked them into five categories – Low, Below Average, Above Average, High, Elite. The study then correlated mortality rates to the Vo2 rankings. The results shocked me.

Just improving from the Low category to Below Average was a 50% reduction in mortality over a decade. Improve to one more category, Above Average, resulted in a nearly 70% reduction in mortality! Being in the lowest category of Vo2 max carries a higher risk of mortality than coronary artery disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes. Wow.

I’m sure I always kinda knew that having a great cardiovascular system would be a good thing as you got older. But then they followed up with a very similar look at the correlation of lean muscle mass and mortality. Past age 70, the hazard ratio of having very little lean muscle mass is greater than smoking! It turns out falls are the greatest cause of accidental death in the last decades of life. As a nurse, I can attest to this. A fall resulting in a broken hip is a near certain death sentence within 6 months to a year amongst the elderly.

So, in a nutshell being weak, fat, and having low Vo2 max is a near guarantee of an early death.

Seeing this was enough for me. I dragged my queasy-ass stomach to the gym and picked up a bunch of heavy shit for an hour. And I’m going to do it again today. And I’m going to start maximizing my Zone 2 training. One of the things that was said in the podcast is that past age 60-65 you’re realistically not going to gain muscle. The best you can hope for is to maintain what you have. So in the decade before that your goal should be to pack on as much lean muscle mass as possible.

I’ve missed out on much of that window to build muscle and strength due to general sloth and love of nachos. But it’s not too late. Every single percentage gain in lean muscle mass I can make in the next few years is an additional hedge against that hazard ratio. It finally sunk in.

Every single day of doing nothing, sitting, not moving, watching TV, gaining weight – is subtracting a day from the other end.

Think about that. Is skipping being active today because you don’t feel like it, worth dying one day earlier? I calculated out, based upon living to age 85, how many weeks I have left. About 1,600. That’s not very much when you think about it that way. It’s time to maximize those weeks to ensure I have as many as possible.

Let’s roll.

Daily Life

It’s Too Late

“Point of no return” noun

: a critical point at which turning back or reversal is not possible

The mayor of Chicago, Lori Lightfoot, lost her bid for reelection yesterday. This is a good thing. She was a truly awful mayor who did real harm to that city. The problem is that it made no difference if she won or lost. If you live in one of the larger cities in this country… it’s too late to recover. All the bigger cities are headed rapidly towards societal and economic collapse. There is nothing that can be done about it.

Rudy Giuliani managed to make a huge difference in New York during his tenure in the ’90’s. He did it via aggressive policing and prosecution. This was before the modern cell phone camera and instant social media. Officers were free to do their job without ten people filming their every encounter, just hoping some outrage will happen that can go viral. Today an officer has zero incentive to do anything other than write up a report after the latest mugging or smash and grab.

Work from home has decimated commercial real estate in big cities. Amazon and the big box stores have killed downtown shopping districts. Why go downtown to shop when you risk dealing with mentally ill homeless people and the chance of being mugged, when you can order online and have it delivered the next day?

Today, there is no mayor who would risk implementing the level of aggressive policing it would take to clean up a major city. No mayor or city council would approve pushing out the homeless and their camps or stopping panhandling. Even if there were, the city’s legal team would put a stop to it right away. The city would be mired in lawsuits from day one if they tried any of this.

Nope. It’s too late. I don’t care how much you love your big city. If you value your family, it’s time to get out. Like a drug addict who’s fallen off the wagon time and time again, at some point you have to recognize they can’t be helped. Things aren’t going get better. Homelessness is going to get worse. Crime will keep increasing. Your taxes will continue to increase. Sorry. That’s reality. The sooner you accept it, the better off you’ll be.

It’s happening everywhere. My little city is rapidly becoming a medium sized city due to a massive influx from California and Washington. The signs of decline are starting to appear here as well. More panhandlers. Small homeless camps here and there. For the first time ever I’m starting to see graffiti and gang signs. Drugs are showing up. We have a very liberal mayor and city council, so there’s no way they’ll attempt to do anything to nip this in the bud.

Don’t get me wrong, I still live in a very safe city. I’m comfortable walking downtown at night. But as growth continues, that will change. It’s the broken windows theory. Visible signs of crime, anti-social behavior, and civil disorder creates an urban environment that encourages more crime and disorder. If you don’t take steps to combat those minor crimes, the problem will get away from you.

Unfortunately, nobody has the appetite to honestly discuss building more prisons, prosecuting criminals, dealing with mental illness, or letting police be proactive again. Those topics have become the new third rail of politics. Until we’re willing to face reality… society will continue on a downward spiral.

I laugh at the socially liberal folks who honestly think if they just implement the right social program, pay enough money, and encourage people to just be more compassionate… the problem will magically fix itself. Nobody wants to be intentionally cruel or uncaring. But in the real world, a little tough love is the only solution that actually works.

It’s a little depressing to think about. But I managed to get myself out of a big city years ago. Fingers crossed, my little piece of the world won’t collapse in my lifetime. My family is in a good place. Take a long hard look at the city you live in. Whatever the condition it’s currently in – it’s going to get exponentially worse. When it does, do you still want to be there?

Confirmation bias, Daily Life

It’s Not What I Thought

Every once in a while, a book manages to surprise me. A great example is “World War Z“. I saw the movie first, so when I started the book imagine my surprise when I realized the only thing the book shares in common with the movie is the title. Seriously. Someone bought the movie rights to a great book and said, I love it. Let’s change everything. I don’t get that. Interestingly, it was written by Max Brooks. Son of Mel Brooks.

This week I found another gem to surprise me. Someone suggested “Starship Troopers“. I was very reluctant as the movie was awful. It couldn’t decide if it wanted to be campy, a spoof, or an actual science fiction flick. The end result was just stupid. Like World War Z, the novel version of Starship Troopers shares the name with the movie and that’s about it. It’s a great read with some pretty deep insights. In a nutshell, the book covers societal structure, the morality of war, and moral breakdown.

First published in 1959, it’s eerie how closely it parallels some of the issues society today is facing. At one point I had to go look up the publish date because I didn’t believe it wasn’t written recently.

And since this seems to be the week of surprises, I had another one yesterday. I had a preconceived notion of someone’s political leanings, and was gob smacked to find out I was completely wrong. If you haven’t followed cartoonist (creator of Dilbert) Scott Adams’ controversial blow up this week, it’s a doozy. On his live stream he made some controversial statements. You can listen here. I had just assumed he leaned towards the right side of the political spectrum. When he made those comments, I thought oh great – more ammo for the left to claim republicans are racist.

After making his comments, Adams sat for a long podcast interview, and I was shocked. He’s very left-wing. Contributed to BLM, supports reparations, and strongly believes systemic racism is the cause of many issues. The exact opposite of what I assumed his beliefs are. It’s a good interview and worth listening to. His rational for making those comments are certainly not how the media is portraying them.

Regardless of whether you agree or disagree with his premise, he intentionally risked everything to say it. Within a day his comic strip has been dropped from every newspaper in the country and his book publisher canceled him. It takes guts to throw yourself on the sword in the name of starting a national discussion about race.

It’s only Wednesday. If there are any more surprises coming… I hope they’re good ones.

Diet, Health

Keto Fixes Everything

A quick update on going back to keto. Ten days ago I wrote about being forced to return to the diet I have a love/hate relationship with. Because I have a medical reason to stay motivated, the transition has been relatively easy. It took two days to get back into ketosis (the body does remember, even after several years). I’ve been maintaining 1.2-1.4 mmol/L every day, with spikes to 1.9 mmol/L following exercise. I’ve dropped 11 pounds. All-in-all, a good start.

So that’s it, keto fixes everything right?

Ah… no. The stomach issues I’m dealing with are slightly better, but certainly not gone. I probably feel better because I’m not binge-eating chips, cheese, bread, and I’ve lost some weight. I’m not convinced food has been the source of my woes.

But, but, you lost weight with keto. Isn’t that reason enough to stay on it? Sorry, but keto didn’t cause my weight loss. You dump a bunch of water weight initially when you first get into ketosis. And… the magic of a caloric deficit. We went out to eat with friends and I had a burger, no bun, a small salad instead of fries, and iced tea instead of a beer. I’ve been eating breakfast and then skiing all day (every day) and not eating again until dinner. I’ve had a huge calorie deficit combined with daily high intensity exercise. It’s not rocket science.

So why bother? Just go back to eating carbs.

A few reasons. I made a commitment to stick with this for a month so I can legitimately tell my doctor if foods are contributing to my symptoms. Second, keto makes maintaining a calorie deficit easy. Independent of my gut issue, I need to drop another 20 pounds. At this point I’ll do what it takes to achieve that. If keto keeps me on track, so be it. The other big reason is that when in ketosis, I don’t have the major hunger pangs if I don’t eat. I can ski all day and not get that bonk feeling I would on a heavy carb-based diet.

But it’s hard, I admit. I turned down going to pizza with friends last night. I honestly didn’t think I’d have the willpower to sit in front of a steaming hot pizza and not indulge. I feel bad because friends and family are offering to change the food they serve to something I can eat. I appreciate it, but I don’t want others to have to change their eating habits for me.

I wish I knew why food discipline is so hard. We have an unopened bag of chips in the pantry, along with pretzels, and popcorn. I probably walked into that pantry ten times last night and stared at those forbidden items. Fortunately, I held out and opted for drinking a crapload of water. If I wasn’t worried about dropping out of ketosis… I guarantee I would have splurged.

So, keto it is. At least for a month. I have no idea what happens after that.