Tag: Life

Daily Life, Diet, Health, Motivation

How Old Are You?

I’m a sucker for a good quote. While on a hike yesterday I was listening to a podcast and heard this:

”The greatest predictor of age is how old you think you are”

Time to rewind a bit. It’s been an… odd summer. To be honest, probably longer than that. Weight has been slowly piling on. Motivation has dwindled. Life events, real and imagined, got in the way. There were a couple of unexpected surgeries (my first!). One of which left me with foot pain that has been pretty significant. For a while I was sure that I would not be able to ever mountain bike or ski again. The result was me sitting in a chair for most of the summer, feeling sorry for myself. And eating. And more eating.

If you had asked me in August how old I felt, I would have given you a number ten years older than my actual age. Fat. None of my clothes fit. Everything hurt. Tired all the time. Zero interest in doing anything to actually improve my situation. I played zero golf all summer. Did not ride my mountain bike or the motorcycle. A few walks in the interest of rehabbing the foot was the sum total of my activity. In short, I was in the express lane to becoming an old man.

It’s interesting, that quote above is not a new idea. I keep a running list of quotes, sayings, and thoughts that I think might be something interesting to write about. I went through my list a few days ago and found this one I wrote down a year ago:

“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?”

That quote is from the 1920’s. This concept of your perceived age is not new. Why that first quote resonated with me is that several years ago if you’d asked me how old I felt I would have given a number ten years younger than my age. A twenty year swing in perceived age. That hits hard.

The good news is that a little bit ago I started the process of reclaiming my health. That process sucks. It hurts. It’s demotivating because you see no progress. You’re basically just hungry and sore all the time. And then all of a sudden, the number on the scale starts trending down. Cardio starts improving. I found a way to ride my bike without pain. Energy improves. I’m able to do long backcountry hikes again.

And the best part… when I heard that quote while listening to that podcast, I can honestly say I now feel my actual age rather than older. I have an impedance scale that calculates your metabolic age based on a bunch of factors. This morning it reported my metabolic age matched my actual age for the first time in a while.

The takeaway is that the pithy quote is true. You really are as old as you feel you are. The important part is that it’s up to you. Your age feeling can go both ways. Would you rather feel older or younger? Making a noticeable change takes less time than you think it will. You just have to start. Granted, the motivation to get started is easier said than done. If I had the secret sauce to making that happen, I’d be a very rich social media influencer.

I think it’s worth honestly asking yourself – how old do you feel? If you’re not happy with your answer, make a change.

My goal these days is no longer a weight target or to achieve some physical sport or endurance goal. It’s to get back to feeling ten years younger than my actual age. Because if I feel younger, I’ll act younger and do things like a younger man. The rest will take care of itself.

Cool, Daily Life

It’s Just A Haircut

I finally couldn’t take it anymore. The end of a long hair experiment. Back to the life of a normie old guy. I got a haircut yesterday. It made me a little sad. Cutting my hair was confirmation that I will never be the cool surfer guy I always wanted to be. Now I look just like every other late middle aged dude. The only thing missing is a fanny pack and white New Balance sneakers.

I suppose I should be grateful that I still have plenty of hair on my head. Haven’t lost any of it. And thanks to my maternal grandfather, almost no grey yet. Hair is a funny thing. Speaking only for dudes, you either have good hair or you don’t. There is no in-between. Somewhere towards the end of high school, guys tend to have established their “haircut”. For most men that never changes – at least until they become follicle challenged and have to commit to the comb over, Rogaine, or simply shaving it.

I don’t know why, but I never figured out my standard haircut. It’s literally different every time. There’s been mullets, crew cuts, flat tops, longer, shorter, you name it I’ve had it. I’m sure I’m the worst sort of customer for stylists/barbers. When they ask, “what are we doing today?”, I go into a rambling “I don’t know, maybe shorter here, I don’t remember the clipper size, I guess above the ears, what do you think would look good?” answer.

How is it possible I’m a grown-ass, old guy and I still don’t know what my standard haircut is?

Anyway, this last go ’round I got it into my head that I wanted long hair. I figured at least while I still have hair why not let it grow? I may or may not have had some sort of Brad Pitt look from Legends of the Fall in my mind. So I let it grow. And grow. For a while I liked it. I felt like maybe it made me look a bit younger. Maybe a little bit of a biker vibe going on. It was different, not the standard white guy haircut that everyone else has. Next, a mustache appeared. Now I really did have some sort of free spirit, ski bum, adventure guy thing happening. I briefly thought I looked cool.

And then the hair started becoming a pain in the butt. It was in my face. It got in my eyes when I wore a motorcycle or bike helmet. I started wearing a ball cap every day rather than deal with it. It wasn’t quite ponytail material, but we weren’t that far off. I was stuck in the dreaded in-between stage. Not long enough to pull back out of the way, too long to be manageable every day.

I normally just go to whatever barber is closest and available – which is probably not someone who’s going to be able to help me figure out a style. Mrs Troutdog offered to find someone at her hair salon who can work on longer mens hair. That’s when I started thinking that this simply wasn’t worth it anymore. I am no fashion icon. Regular appointments at a “hair salon” just isn’t who I am. And then Mrs Troutdog issued the final blow when she told me the mustache wasn’t working for her. I was crushed. My dreams of being the cool surfer, skier, biker dude vanished at that moment.

I shaved my face. It looks naked and pudgy. The next day I went to the closest Supercuts and told the gal (who happened to be a trainee) to shave it all off. I think she asked me three or four times is that really what I wanted, before she started in the with clippers. Like the biblical figure Samson, I felt my superpowers drifting away with every snip of the scissors. And just like that, I was back to my regular look. Hair that’s sort of cowlicky, sticking up in random places that I try to contain with whatever hair goop I happen to have on hand. The standard look of the middle aged male.

I’ll admit it’s easier this way. I can wear a hat without hair sticking out in every direction. It’s not going to get in my eyes when I’m riding the bike. I don’t have to live in fear of wind. I don’t have to take a shower or put on a hat just to run to the corner store in the morning. But deep down, I kind of miss it. But reality is that I don’t look like Brad Pitt, with or without the hair. I’m sure I looked ridiculous. But for a brief moment, the longer hair made me feel a little bit cooler than I really am.

Well, c’est la vie, that’s life. It’s only hair. Fortunately for me, it grows back. Maybe someday I’ll try it again.

I did notice that we have a new high-end mens barber down the street. Maybe I can drift into some sort of a shaved viking warrior cut?

Cool, Daily Life

Weekend Random Thoughts

It’s the weekend people, whoop, whoop! Actually, everyday is a weekend for me. No I take that back – I sort of have the opposite schedule. Monday through Friday is when I prefer to do things. Weekends I hibernate in the house to avoid the weekend crowds. Although with Covid and the ensuing work-from-home onslaught, weekdays are getting just as crowded as weekends. All you people need to go back to the office! Anyway, I haven’t done this in a while so here’s some random thoughts for you:

  • We went to an in-person movie last night for the first time in… four years probably. We slowly stopped going because every movie being made is/was superhero, Marvel, or remakes of something. We’d go through the listings and not be able to find anything that wasn’t going to subtract brain cells. Then Covid hit and, well, we never went back. So last night was my first experience in one of the fancy theaters with the reclining (and shaking/vibrating) seats. Pretty cool. Unfortunately every single trailer was a hard no. Why can’t Hollywood get back to original scripts?
  • The movie we chose to go see was Dune, Part 2. Since we hadn’t seen Part 1 we had to binge that at home beforehand. Both were interesting. A little hard to follow if you know nothing about Dune. long, but never dragged.
  • The ski season went from piss-poor to never ending. Our local resort got another foot overnight. Crazy for early April.
  • Speaking of snow, my new flip flops just arrived yesterday. Ready for Spring.
  • I have a probable neuroma on the bottom of my foot. It’s a little ball of scar tissue that presses on the nerve in-between the toes. Imagine a scalding hot nail pressing up through your foot. I’ve been dealing with it for several years now. I’ve tried everything – natural toe box shoes, barefoot time, toe spacers, neuroma pads, toe stretching bands. Maybe a tiny bit of relief, but not much. I finally broke down and scheduled an appointment with a doc. Unfortunately, if this is really what it is, there’s not much you can do. Cortisone shots are a first attempt. Last option is surgery to cut the nerve. Sigh. Maybe there’s a new miracle treatment out there now.
  • Going on my first overnight motorcycle camping trip of the year in two weeks. I’m actually a little nervous. A few weeks ago, I rode for the first time since winter started and it was like I’d never seen a motorcycle before. The weather needs to improve quickly so I can get some practice time in.
  • I went down a rabbit hole watching how-to videos on making videos look more cinematic. I then went back and rewatched a bunch of the videos I’ve made and realized they all look like an eighth grader got a hold of a camcorder for the first time. It’s hard to explain. You watch a well done YouTube video and it looks simple and effortless. In my head that’s what I’m doing but it never actually comes out that way. I need to practice and figure this out.
  • I’ve grown tired of my music playlist. As I’m blasting it the garage gym, I find myself skipping four or five songs for every one I let play. I probably just need to sit down and spend a day curating my music, but that seems like work. I wonder if you can pay someone to do that for you?
  • The new status symbol is to have a podcast. At this point, who doesn’t have a podcast? I’d have a podcast expect for that whole, you know, talking to people thing.
  • Is it just me, or has the quality of meat just plummeted? We subscribed for quite a few years to a meat delivery service (Butcher Box). Finally got rid of it because the quality got so bad. We just bought a quarter cow and even that is just meh. The price per pound of prime beef, even at Costco, has gotten crazy. Thanks Bidenomics. At this rate we will have to eat the WEF bugs soon.
  • I’ve gotten old enough that my first nephew is graduating college. I don’t envy him trying to enter the job market now.
  • I went on the first mountain bike ride of the season the other day with my crazy fit neighbor. My legs still hurt. He took pity on me and went running for a few hours before we rode because he knew we’d be going slower (ouch, that stung the ego a bit).
  • In running, cycling, and hiking there’s something called a Fuck You break. The stronger fastest people get to the top first and get a nice long break. As soon as the slowest person gets to the top, everyone takes off again. Those who need the break the least, get the most. I was always the one at the top first. Now, I’m the recipient of the FU break. This pisses me off. This injustice will not stand.
  • We head to Mexico in three weeks. I was planning on being in speedo shape, but oddly enough that didn’t happen. Oh well, taco and tequila tasting tours it is.

Ok, that’s enough for now. Any longer and I’ll bust into discussions of politics or religion. I’m staring out at the snow and puddles of mud wondering what to do today. Maybe I’ll go experiment with video. Or a picture walkabout. Hmm. Maybe today will be the music playlist day. Or maybe a nap. Anything to avoid cleaning out the basement.

Peace out, and go practice your Contrarianism (TM).

Daily Life, Motivation

It Really Is A Drug

This is going to be a little embarrassing. But I suppose, like any good twelve step program, the first step is admitting you are powerless over your addiction. My morning routine every morning, day in and day out, 365 days a year is as follows; Up at 4:30-6, make coffee, surf news sites and X/Twitter until 8-9:30am. At that point I start my day. Why is this embarrassing? That routine means that I average 1,095 hours a year mindlessly scrolling through news sites. I give up six and a half weeks of my life every year to an algorithm designed to keep me scrolling.

But it’s worse than that. I’ve noticed lately that I can’t stop checking in on my phone. Sit down for a few minutes and I compulsively find myself quickly scrolling through X/Twitter to see if anything new happened. During commercial breaks or pausing a TV show to let the dog out, I’m instantly on the phone flipping through stupid Instagram reels of funny animals, car crashes, and people doing stupid shit. Waiting in line at the grocery store, boom, out comes the phone. It truly is a drug.

What a waste. I suppose on the other hand, it’s not like I was going to invent an amazing new chemical compound that solves the problem of plastics in our landfills during that extra six weeks a year. But still, there must be something more productive I could be doing with that time. Watching cat videos and reading three sentence “news” blurbs is not exactly making me more informed. Sure, I can chat casually with someone at a cocktail party about current events (if I was to actually go to a cocktail party) but that doesn’t mean I actually know anything about the subject. X/Twitter has given me the back of the milk carton condensed version of the news. Which is usually just enough to make me angry and/or to start a fight at the holiday dinner table.

I believe it’s time for a detox. We’ll start with the phone. First step, put it away. I’m going to keep it on my dresser in the bedroom all day. Sure I’ll make a point of glancing at it occasionally to see if there was a missed call or text message, but I don’t need to obsessively carry it around with me in the house. I’m not a doctor on call 24×7 who needs instant access. There is literally nothing so important that it couldn’t wait the 45 minutes I was in the backyard working on the garden. Sure I might miss out on that hilarious meme I came across during a commercial break while watching Seinfeld reruns, but I’m sure I’ll survive.

Now for the harder one – the morning computer screen time. I’m not changing my wake up time or the time I start my day. I’m a slug, I admit it. I need several hours before I can get moving. The question is, what to do with those hours? I’m not going to give up the news entirely. I am a news junkie after all. I think the recovery approach will be twofold. First, limit the amount of scrolling through X/Twitter. Anything major or newsworthy that’s happened will show up in the feed within about five minutes. So let give ourselves a thirty minute budget to flip through some news sites and scroll through tweets. Done, I know now roughly what’s happening in the world. Now what?

I think the remaining time will be spent on reading long-form essays. Probably going to have to be subscription based. In reality anything worth reading takes a writer days to weeks to compose. A banger tweet, or paragraph posted on CNN.com, probably didn’t have a whole lot of thought put behind it. I’m at the age where I’m better off reading quality over quantity.

I’d also be much better served by spending my morning time working on creative pursuits than reading speculation about the latest celebrity gossip. Writing, maybe editing a photo or video. Anything to get the brain juices flowing. At my age I don’t have many brain cells left so I may as well exercise them.

So there you go. The confession of a news/phone/Twitter junkie. The first step is to admit you have a problem. Now let’s make a change. If you see more frequent posts here, you know it’s working. If I’m radio silent, you’ll know that I’m still mired in the addictive world of Russian dash-cam crash videos and reading pithy one-liners about how evil the other political party is.

Wish me luck. The algorithms are powerful, fueled by AI, and designed to prevent you from breaking out of the matrix. It’s time to take that red pill.

Daily Life, Health, Travel

A Change In Priorities

We had a death in the family this week. Two, actually. Both had massive strokes on the same day and both passed away on the same day. A very odd coincidence. Anyway, I was talking to the widow of one of them and, in an attempt to offer comfort, had mentioned that now is the time to relish the memories they had made together. He brightened up and went into a long list of all the cruises, trips, excursions, and sailing outings they’d done. They’d actually done a lot more than I’d realized. It was obvious how fondly he remembered all those things they’d done together. Ultimately, our life is defined by the experiences we had.

I just finished a book that drove this concept home. It’s called Die With Zero by Bill Perkins. In it, the author has some very unique ideas about money, resources, and what’s important in life. To quote the old saying, “nobody dies wishing they’d spent more time at the office“. He encourages you to use your money to maximize the experience points you accumulate throughout life. He gives an example of when he was just out of school, dirt poor and eating ramen for dinner every night.

His roommate quit his job and borrowed money so he could backpack through Europe for a few months. The author thought he was nuts for being so irresponsible. The roommate came back with fantastic stories of meeting girls, beautiful beaches, and pictures of gorgeous scenery. The roommate found a new job shortly after returning and had paid back the borrowed money before long. Years later the author had built up some savings and thought about the trip the old roommate had taken. He realized that at age 30, he’d never be able to experience or recreate a carefree trip like that. That was an experience reserved for youth, and he’d missed it because he was being responsible with his money. Meanwhile the roommate had an experience he’ll remember forever and suffered no long term financial impacts because of it.

As the name of the book implies, the point is to die with zero. If you’ve got money and savings still in the bank when you’re gone, you left experiences on the table that you could have had. As you lay on your deathbed, wouldn’t you rather have had one last cruise or a trip somewhere with your loved one than a few extra dollars in the bank?

While much of the book is geared towards younger people and helping them think about how to manage their resources long term, there were a few chapters that really hit home for me. He uses the concept of “time buckets” to help prioritize experiences. The things you do in your twenties and thirties can be wild and more risky. You have time to recover, both physically and monetarily. As you move into your forties and fifties you can still have “active” experiences – ski trips, climbing the thousands of stairs in tiny towns in Italy, hiking national parks, etc…

But reality is that by the time you hit your sixties and seventies, the experiences you can have – change. While we all hope we’re still physically fit, for most of us a week long ski trip to Taos is not realistic at 65. Driving and long plane flights are harder. Our experiences tend to be more sedate – cruises, museums, and sitting on the beach enjoying sunsets. If you make it to eighty… well, very few of us are still active. Median life expectancy in the US is 77. Experiences become pretty limited at that point. Most of what you have at that age are memories of the past.

Having someone pass away, combined with the concepts in the book, hit me hard. Based upon average life expectancy, I have twenty years left. That’s only 1,000 weeks. If I did an “experience” every four weeks, that means I’ll have 250 more experiences in my life. That’s sobering. And out of those remaining twenty years, how many do I have left where I can still be relatively active? I hope a lot, but there’s no guarantee.

Why don’t we come to that realization when we’re younger?

So no more farting around and waiting until next month, six months from now, or next year to have those experiences. The clock is ticking and I want those life experiences in the bank. I don’t want to be on my deathbed, with money still in the bank, wishing I’d taken that trip when I was still fit enough to do it.

You only have this life once and you don’t get to take your things with you. You die with nothing more than the memories of what you’ve done and the people around you.

Let’s go make the most out of those remaining weeks.

Cool, Daily Life, Motivation

Ready To Start Over?

I am a collector of cheesy sayings, quotes, and memes. When I read or hear a good one I write it down. Occasionally I’ll hang one in the bathroom like my framed “Live Laugh Love” poster. Sometimes I’ll make them into Twitter/X posts, sometimes blog posts (are these things still called blogs?). More often than not they get deleted or forgotten, just like your New Year resolution. However yesterday I saw one that I couldn’t resist. It ticks all the boxes; cheesy, inspirational, and true. So if I had to read it, so do you. Ready?

“The count is zero when you wake up”

Did you have a bad day yesterday? Doesn’t matter because the count resets every morning. Did you set a personal deadlift record yesterday? Doesn’t matter because the count reset this morning. Is some weird intrapersonal drama going on at work? Doesn’t matter because the count starts at zero today. In other words a zero count every morning is a less cheesy and lame way of saying every day is a new day.

Unless you’re a Hamas commander who just had a 500 pound JDAM drop on you – then your count definitely does not reset.

I really needed to re-read this saying today. Why? I’ve had zero alcohol for over a month. I’ve worked out at least three days a week. I’ve been both downhill and cross country skiing multiple times. I’ve been riding my bike on the greenbelt. I’ve skipped all deserts and feel like I’ve been paying attention to what I’m eating. I initially saw a seven pound weight loss.

This morning I stepped on the scale and I gained four pounds.

Shit. I didn’t drink all through the holidays and kept away from the buffet table and still gained weight. What’s the point? I might as well have that evening cocktail if I’m going to gain weight anyway. It’s very depressing.

Sigh. Deep breath. The count is zero when you wake up. Today we start over from scratch. I don’t know what the answer is, but we will find a way to make this weight loss work. Yesterday or the last month doesn’t matter. Calories have been too high and protein too low. Step count and workout intensity have been half-assed.

We can fix this and turn the ship around. There was a mantra I’d mutter to myself back in the trail running days when things started to hurt – it’s mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

It’s not whether you fall down, but if you get back up. Ok, ok, ok. I’ll stop with the cheesy sayings. You get my point. Go out and do the thing today.

And remember, always drink upstream from the herd (sorry, couldn’t resist). What’s your cheesy saying for the day?

Daily Life, Health

Death To Coffee

I was asked last night by someone who does not drink coffee – what does coffee do for you in the morning? Despite the urge to say, “uhm everything”, it did make me think. But first, some context. Starting about a month ago I began to make some changes. No, we won’t call them changes but experiments. One of them was to start drinking non-caffeinated tea at night before bed. I’m trying to avoid reaching for a snack, desert, or nightcap in the evening. Turns out a hot cup of tea fills the belly and keeps me from foraging in the kitchen.

Next, I started reading about Dr Huberman’s morning routine. Of the things he suggests doing, one of them was to delay caffeine intake for 90-120 minutes upon waking to let the residual adenosine clear from your system. At that point his caffeine choice is a strong tea.

It got me thinking. I’ve lost the taste for coffee lately. It’s very acidic and not helped by the fact that I make crappy Keurig coffee because I’m too lazy to do the pour-over or French press thing. Although I’ve never in my life been a tea drinker, I was already drinking it at night so why not try it in the morning?

So a few weeks ago I substituted some old caffeinated tea I found in the pantry for my morning coffee. Shockingly, I didn’t die or lapse into convulsions. I won’t say I was in love with the taste, but it was certainly more mellow on my stomach than the coffee.

So here we are. I’m keeping up with the tea instead of coffee thing. I ordered some fancy loose leaf tea and a proper tea strainer thingy.

Let me be clear about how momentous a change this is. Way back in the day when I was a software developer, I drank an absolute frightening amount of coffee. As in, multiple full pots a day. In later years as an RN, the only way to survive 12-13 hour shifts was large amounts of caffeine. Nowadays I’m back to a normal 2-3 cups a day, but the ingrained habit is strong. It’s a big thing that I’m not drinking coffee.

Is it going to be a continuing habit? That brings me back to the original question I was asked – what does coffee do for me in the morning? I honestly didn’t have an answer. In reality I’m probably not getting a decent nights sleep and therefore I’m super groggy in the morning. It feels like coffee/caffeine is the only way to “wake up”. A logical person would conclude that the right answer is to work on getting a better nights sleep, rather than caffeinate to compensate. I’ve never been accused of being the sharpest crayon in the box.

The routine I’d like to work towards is two-fold. First, work on getting a better nights sleep. Second, continue to incorporate Dr. Hubermans ideas. Wake up, sunlight, two large glasses of water with salt, and delay the caffeine for 90 minutes. For extra bonus points, use that 90 minutes to get my workout in.

At that point, take my time and make a proper cup of tea or a decent cup of coffee. Probably alternate. Maybe 70/30 tea/coffee.

Once I’ve reached that level of superhuman performance, I shall be in a perfect state of zen.

So that’s more than you wanted to know about one of my 2024 resolutions. We’ll cover the conquest and take over of some foreign country and running a 100 mile ultramarathon in another post. How about you? Are you a coffee or tea drinker? Pour-over or French press? Best high caffeine morning tea? Inquiring minds want to know.

Daily Life, Motivation

Do You Even Know Where You’re Going?

I had an odd inspiration the other day. I stumbled upon a YouTube channel by a guy who was a Navy SEAL who ended up joining the French Foreign Legion. He’d reached the pinnacle of military achievement and squandered it due to stupid decisions. After drifting for a while and getting in more trouble, he decided the Legion was the only chance he had at getting his life back together. In his case, it worked. He’s now, at least according to him, squared away and on a good path.

The inspiration was a quote he shared in one of his videos from Yogi Berra: “If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up someplace else”.

What was interesting is that here’s a guy who had micro planning and goal setting down to a science. He had a goal to join the SEALs and knew exactly how to get there. How to train, workout, prepare, and what path to take in the military to get there. He had the discipline to stay focused and achieve his goals. And yet for as laser focused as he was on the micro issues in front of him, he had no vision for the big picture. He couldn’t see what the impact his daily decisions was having on his career. The end result was he lost everything.

What struck me was how close to my life that is right now. No, not getting in bar fights, being a Navy SEAL or joining the French Foreign Legion. Although, the Legion would be a great weight loss program. Hmm… Anyway, the similarity to my life is the Yogi Berra quote – I don’t know where I’m going.

Are we going to spend the next ten years traveling? Should I focus on photography or making YouTube videos? Should every day be spent exercising and doing a sport of some sort? Writing an award winning blog? What do I want 2024 to look like? I don’t know.

The critical part of the quote is the second part – “you’ll end up someplace else”. No matter what you do, you’ll end up somewhere. The question is, is that where you wanted to be?

This year, I was in drift mode. I did a little bit of this, a little bit of that. It was a weird weather year. We had a ton of house/landscape work that disrupted my routine (or so I told myself). I got hurt and had surgery. All in all, 2023 was a completely forgettable year. Not bad, just forgettable. Virtually nothing I can look back on and say, “I did that!”. There’s nothing wrong with years like that every once in a while. The problem is that I’m not twenty. I don’t have that many more years to squander.

So I can keep focusing on the day to day, week to week. Should I go for a bike ride today? Skiing? Maybe I should plan a motorcycle ride for next week. What are we having for dinner? That’s all well and good but I’m afraid if that’s all I do, another year will zoom by and I’ll be asking the same question next holiday season. What did I do this year?

It’s time to have some actual big picture goals and plans. It doesn’t need to be planned out to the nth degree… but we at least need a roadmap to help keep focus on a direction.

It’s interesting. Small goals are easier to wrap your head around. Lose ten pounds. Finally get that fence built. Take a trip to Vegas. It’s identifiable. Easy to plan for. Measurable from day to day. Big, macro goals are difficult. It’s hard to wrap your head around them in a way that’s quantifiable. It’s one thing to say “my goal is to travel this year”. But what does that actually look like?

I suppose it’s more about having a purpose in life. While going for a bike ride every day certainly isn’t a bad life… is that all I want for the rest of my time here? If I got hit by a cement truck tomorrow, is 2023 how I’d like to have gone out? (that’s a bigger philosophical question, but you get the point)

Some soul searching and planning needs to happen. We need to hit 2024 with a roadmap. Like any roadtrip, there’s nothing wrong with detours as long as you’re still generally heading in the same direction. The philosopher Yogi Berra was right – you’re going to end up somewhere no matter what you do. Just make sure it’s where you intended to go.

Daily Life, Health

Things Will Calm Down

Every once in a while, you stumble across something that just makes you feel seen. As in, oh crap that’s me. This morning it was this:

“Adult life is saying to yourself ‘after this week, things will calm down a little’ over and over again until you die.”

This completely sums up my diet and fitness journey.

There are contractors coming to the house this morning. I have a long drive tomorrow. We still need to find a gift for that birthday party. It’s going to rain hard on Thursday. We have that dinner thing on Friday. I need to get the yard done. I can’t put off the oil change any longer. We leave on Monday for two days.

Once I get back, things will calm down and I’ll dive back into the diet and workout.

This is me most weeks. I’ll go two-three days of being consistent, and then something always seems to come up that throws things off.

Unless you live on a deserted island, completely unplugged… life will never “calm down”. I need to stop feeding myself that lie. The problem is that diet and fitness was never a routine in my life. It’s never been a priority.

It needs to be a rule that doesn’t get broken. It needs to be just part of who you are. I wake up, have coffee, and go for a run. Period. I go to the gym on my lunch break. No matter what. It’s just what I do. I play at some sort of sport every weekend. It’s the rule.

Paying attention to what I eat doesn’t feel natural. It’s always something that’s a change. “Starting Monday, I’m eating clean”. It feels forced because it’s not part of what I normally do. Same thing with exercise. Since it’s not part of my normal routine, it’s easy to abandon it when life gets busy.

Like brushing your teeth, it just needs to be a normal part of your daily routine. I wish this had been drilled into me as a kid. Changing your daily routine after twenty years is not easy. It’s no different than if you suddenly had to switch to working the night shift. Nothing about that change would feel normal. But eventually, it would.

The interesting thing about that analogy is that you’d find a way to do it because it was your job. You’d have to. The secret sauce to diet and exercise success is finding a way to tell yourself that this is your new job. Because without it, your long-term prognosis is poor.

It’s part of my new rules. I brush my teeth. I don’t leave dishes in the sink. The dog gets a run. I pay attention to what I eat. I get eight hours of sleep. I exercise. Life will just have to work around that.

Daily Life

Are You A Driver Or A Passenger?

Seven months ago, I retired. It’s weird to think that “I’m retired”. That’s something old people do. At the time I didn’t really say anything about it, as it just seemed odd. I wrote something vague about leaving healthcare, but I didn’t mention that was the end of the work phase of my life. I will say that I do not miss working. I’ve held a job of some sort every year of my life since I was thirteen. From paper routes to lifeguarding to working in ski shops and a short order cook. I worked my way up in the tech world from writing manuals to phone support to traveling to do on-site deployment and installations. I moved on to software engineering and managing large tech teams. Eventually I got bored and moved to healthcare. So, it’s fair to say I’ve put my time in. And now I’m done.

So what does this have to do with anything? Well, last night some friends we hadn’t seen in a while asked, “are you loving retirement?” And… I really didn’t have an answer.

When Mrs Troutdog and I decided it was time to be done, I had visions of travel and exploring without the constraints of worrying about the 9-5 routine. I had projects I needed to do, and creative stuff I’ve been thinking about. Finally, unlimited time to cook and get my diet and fitness dialed in.

So, did all that happen? Uh, no. Not exactly. I honestly don’t know where the time went or what I’ve been doing. We had a house remodel going on that consumed time and schedules. The weather this year has been weird, making it a little harder to do outside stuff. I did some motorcycle riding, but not as much as I’d thought I’d do. The creative juices faded a bit. I spent a lot of time reading and napping. In a nutshell I blinked, and half a year went by.

Why did that happen? I realized I’ve been a passenger instead of a driver. As an adult, especially in the midst of your working life, it’s easy to become a slave to your calendar. There’s a contractor coming to the house this afternoon; hockey tickets tomorrow; need to grocery shopping; a friend wants to play golf on Wednesday; I need to clean up the garage a bit; laundry; lawn needs mowing; we have to go to that thing with your sister this weekend. And so on, and so on, and so on. It’s life.

But time marches on and eventually you realize all you’re doing is being reactive to the tasks and events on your calendar. You’re being a passenger in life. You’re not driving the calendar – it’s driving you. I get it when you’re mid-career, you’ve got young kids and juggling the soccer mom/dad thing. It’s hard to do anything other than just get through the day-to-day minutia. But I don’t have that excuse. I literally have unlimited time. I can put anything on my calendar I want.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my life. I’m very fortunate to be in the position I’m in. I’m not bored at all. But it’s clear that I’m not really driving my life right now. I’m just drifting along, enjoying whatever pops up any given day. Maybe after a long work career, that’s enough for some folks. But not me. I want more.

It’s time to climb into the drivers seat and dictate what I want out of my time. Because as the last half-year has demonstrated, time is accelerating at a frightening pace. I can’t control time, but I can control what I do with that time.

How about you? Are you being a driver or a passenger?