Diet

Keto, Again?

I honestly didn’t think I’d be back here. I rode the keto train for a year and a half. I was strict, lost a ton of weight, and generally felt pretty good. Probably not coincidentally, I was also more active during that period than I’d been since my twenties. I know shocking, isn’t it? Low body fat and active every day… and you feel great. But I finally burnt out on keto. I was sick of paying attention to everything food related. I constantly craved mashed potatoes, fries, and pasta. I wanted to enjoy a beer once in a while.

So, I decided to “take a short break” from keto. And here we are almost three years later. I put back all the weight I’d lost, plus some. Fatigued all the time. Lost all the cardio I’d had and struggle to mountain bike and can’t run. And I’m now dealing with some serious gut issues. So now what?

My gastroenterologist wants me on a low fodmap diet for a minimum of a month, while we do some other testing. Looking at the foods you can’t have I realized that keto with some changes to veggies I’d normally eat, covers the fodmap diet. I know keto well. I know that I can make keto stick. So the words I never thought I’d say again came out of my mouth – It’s time to go back to keto.

I do not believe all the hype about keto. You don’t burn any more fat than you would with a carb based diet. I don’t think, for most people, it addresses insulin resistance magically. Studies show that you get the same impact simply losing weight, improving blood pressure, and exercising – regardless of which diet you choose.

Keto worked for me because it is restrictive. The act of counting carbs and daily blood tests forced me to pay attention to calories. As I started losing weight I exercised more. The more I exercised, the better I felt. Before long I was burning so many calories running and cycling, I struggled to consume enough food. Eventually, I was dropping 2-3 pounds a week. This was not a miracle of ketosis. There’s only so much steak, chicken, and broccoli a guy can eat. It was a calorie deficit, made easy by the lack of food choices.

Don’t get me wrong, I think there are some benefits to keto for the average person. The big one for me was becoming fat adapted. Moving easily into ketosis when glycogen stores are low, prevented the massive hunger pangs and cravings I’d have when my fuel was primarily carbs. It enabled me to exercise in a fasted state and avoid the “bonk” when glycogen ran out.

For whatever reason, I lack the willpower to maintain a calorie deficit with carbs. There are too many things to eat, and the hidden calories keep adding up. I find myself constantly hungry and snacking. Some people have the willpower to simply count calories and lose weight. That’s clearly not me.

So here we are. Back to keto. Back to my love/hate relationship with the diet. Unfortunately, I don’t feel that I have a choice at this point. It will be interesting to see what I think about it this go-round, since I’m doing it for a different reason. My strength trainer is going to hate me. He’s not a fan. But on the plus side, I’ll finally be eating the amount of protein he wants me to consume.

Today is day one. Ketones were 0.3 mmol/L this morning. It’ll be interesting to see how long it takes me to get back into ketosis. Will my body remember fat adaptation? Or am I starting from scratch with a week-plus of keto flu before dropping into ketosis?

It’s only been a few hours and I’m already craving pesto sauce pasta and nachos. The struggle is real.

Motivation, Travel

Get Off The Main Road

Are you someone who sticks to the main road, always following the route Google Maps gives you? Or are you willing to wing it and explore the backroads? A few weeks ago, I wrote a bit about pushing my limits skiing. One of the things I’ve noticed about myself, when it comes to skiing, is that I mostly stick to the main runs. I tend not to venture into unknown territory unless I’m with someone who’s been there before. I like the security of knowing exactly what type of run it is and where it leads to.

But as I said in that previous post, I’ve made a vow this year to push my limits and explore more. I’ve started going in and out of the trees and venturing into terrain I wouldn’t normally try. I’m loving it. It’s also scary. I’m not that great of a skier, so the possibility of getting myself into trouble is high. Even though my confidence is rapidly improving, I still question myself.

Yesterday was one of those days when I decided I was going to explore an area of the resort I’d never been to. I spent a couple of runs skirting the area and scouting it out from the chairlift. The terrain was hard to see, so I couldn’t judge if it was above my skill level. Was I going to end up down in some gulley, or would I inadvertently ski out of bounds?

I wrestled with those thoughts and the asked myself, what’s the worst thing that could happen? And the answer was that I’d have to take my skis off and hike a bit. So off I went. You can already guess the outcome. It was awesome! I now have a whole new area to explore. Why in the world didn’t I do this before? And suddenly, as I skied other areas of the resort, I started seeing new trails and areas I’d never noticed before.

There’s nothing wrong with using Google maps to get you from point A to point B. But if you never get off the main road, you’ll never know what you might be missing.

You’re only here once, so you might as well explore.

Daily Life, Health, Motivation

Facing A Challenge

Did you ever wonder how you’d manage if you faced true adversity? I always liked reading and watching inspirational stories of people struggling with seemingly insurmountable odds, battling the inner demons, and overcoming the challenge. The classic tale of the protagonist who suffers a terrible woodchipper accident. The montage of scenes showing the struggle of learning to walk again. Fighting a corrupt system that won’t give him the fancy new titanium prosthetic legs. The triumphant comeback to kick the winning field goal in the Super Bowl. Who doesn’t love a feel-good story like that?

How do you think you’d do in that situation? Would you be the hero or would you end up in a wheelchair, addicted to opiates, and yelling at all the nurses in your skilled nursing facility? I don’t know why, but I think about that. Knock on wood, I’ve never faced true adversity, so I don’t know how I’d react. But lately, I’m not sure I’d be the hero.

Health-wise, I’ve been pretty damn lucky. Not through any skill or effort on my part – just dumb luck and good genes. I’ve never really been injured. I didn’t seriously “exercise” when I was younger but managed to stay active enough to remain functional over the years. My weight and fitness fluctuated over time, but never horribly. Blood pressure, blood work, and general health markers have always been good. It’s rare that I get sick. I’ve been pretty fortunate. Until this last year.

I’m not sure what happened. Suddenly my weight ballooned up. Normally I’ve been able to tweak the diet, ride the bike a bit more and I’d be back to normal. It hasn’t worked this time. My balance and fitness level noticeably declined. Then I hurt my back this summer. That was a wake-up call. If you’ve been reading this blog for any time, you’ll know that I hired a trainer and worked hard to rehab. That’s gone great, and the back is stronger than it was before. So semi-protagonist-hero-mode. But it definitely made me grumpy being injured. I never thought I was a complainer, but that side of me suddenly appeared.

And now… I’ve been hit with a new health challenge. It’s been creeping up for a while and finally hit with a vengeance. Last week, for the first time, I had to pass on skiing with friends and hiking the dog. Several days were spent curled up on the couch, feeling sorry for myself. We’re still working through the process, but most likely we’re looking at some permanent lifestyle changes. In the long run it will probably be for the best anyway. But at the moment, it kind of sucks.

I’m left asking myself, how will I manage this pseudo-adversity? I haven’t done terribly well so far. Mrs Troutdog has been super supportive, but I know I’ve been quiet and grumpy. I thought I’d be the person that would be chipper and positive every day as we work through things, but I’ve trended more towards frustration and slightly depressed. So much for the hero protagonist.

In the grand scheme of things, this won’t stack up to be that big of a deal. Certainly not compared to woodchipper accidents. But I’ll admit, I was caught off-guard at how hard mentally it can be to deal with a slightly negative situation. I was sure I’d morph into hero mode when faced with making some minor changes. Instead, I sat on the couch for a week. I can’t imagine the strength it takes for people who face down truly serious adverse scenarios.

There’s a quote I like – “Life gives you what you settle for”. I can take something that ultimately will end up being a minor annoyance and turn it into a healthier lifestyle, or I can resent it and use it as an excuse not to do things.

I choose the former.

Government

It’s A Lie

They are lying to us. No, not about Chinese spy balloons/UFO’s. (Klaatu Barada Nikto. If you know, you know) Although they may be lying about that as well, that is not the focus of today’s rant. This will be my annual post about Social Security. During the State of the Union, there was a bit of a dust-up about cuts to social security. Apparently evil republicans want to eviscerate social security, leaving seniors to die on the street. No we don’t! Yes you do! No we don’t! Yes you do! Sigh. Same old tired argument.

Both sides get away with this ridiculous charade because most folks don’t understand how social security works/worked. Here’s the simplistic overview. You pay 12.4% of your annual wages into social security. 6.2% by you, 6.2% by your employer. Social security was intended to be a “pay as you go” system – collect just enough money each year to cover outlays. But those sneaky devils have been collecting more than they need from the very beginning.

Each year the government collects more in social security taxes than they need to cover payouts. That extra money is “loaned” back to the government (at varying interest rates). This is the Trust Fund (made up of both social security and disability insurance). Also known as the “Lock Box of IOU’s” that Al Gore famously referred to. The Trust Fund currently has roughly $2.9 trillion in assets. Somewhere between this year and about 5 years from now, depending on what figures you use, we will no longer be collecting a surplus in social security taxes. When that happens, we’ll have to start cashing in those notes we loaned to the government’s general fund.

All good, right? Well don’t be shocked, but those rascals in congress gobbled up that extra revenue and spent it as fast as they could go. We’ve been spending like drunken sailors on a three-day-leave for year, after year, after year… so now when the Trust Fund needs its money back – surprise, surprise, surprise! We don’t have it. So now, we’ll have borrow a second time to repay what we already borrowed.

It’s worse than a Madoff/SBF Ponzi scheme. Since we’re already spending (borrowing) about $1.3 trillion more than we take in each year, the odds of reducing federal spending enough to cover payments to social security are pretty slim. Fun times!

So let’s recap. Politicians happily collected $2.9 trillion of your dollars they didn’t need so they could spend it on whatever boondoggle they fancied. Then they kept spending billions and trillions more than they took in every year, adding up to current debt of $31.5 trillion.

Folks, to borrow the quote from the movie Full Metal Jacket – “It’s a huge shit sandwich, and we’re all going to have to take a bite”.

The point of all this to highlight what scum these politicians are. I don’t care what side of the argument they try to make. They can say “we’ll always keep our social security commitments (we’ll just borrow more). The other side might say “we’ll need to reduce benefits to keep the fund solvent”. Either way, they’re not being honest. They spent us into oblivion. They blew through the Trust Fund. They knew they were doing it and ignored the problem for years. Now you lowly peasants get to pay more (either in debt/inflation) or get less (in reduced benefits). Probably both.

The odds of my receiving much in the way of social security benefits is slim. This is despite my paying (by force) into the system my entire adult life. So, excuse me if I have nothing but vile things to say about our elected representatives. If any proposal these folks make don’t also include in the same sentence, massive cuts to discretionary spending…

Well, you can fill in the expletive yourself.

Daily Life

Contrarian Thoughts

I had a few thoughts that were slightly contrarian to close out the week:

  • Apparently, we have a Chinese spy balloon drifting over Montana. How is it that we don’t have some sort of air defense that detects these things before they drift over the country? This seems like an issue.
  • Do you think we’ll ever see Senator Fetterman giving speeches on the floor of the Senate or asking questions during committee hearings?
  • The Covid virus has killed what, almost 7 million people? Don’t you think it’s odd that we don’t seem to have any real interest in figuring out where it came from?
  • Where did all the service industry workers go? It’s like they all disappeared overnight. I can’t find any reasonable explanation as to why an entire low/minimum wage group vanished. It’s not like they all learned to code during the shutdown and are now working high-tech.
  • I love watching hockey, but the penalties are still mostly a mystery to me.
  • I added up our fuel costs for 2021/2022. The same number of miles cost $1,000 more in 2022. That’s real-world financial pain for a lot of folks in this country. It gets glossed over by most politicians. Seems like the Keystone pipeline would’a been nice to have coming on-line right about now.
  • I wrote an email to one of my senators a few weeks ago. I was surprised when I received what appeared to be a personal reply that was well thought out. Maybe they’re not all dumb as a box of rocks.
  • Ukraine has lost 150,000 men, with 35,000 more MIA. Ukraine is running out of fighting age males. They’re outnumbered by at least 5:1, with 300,000+ Russian troops massed at the border. The math does not look good for Ukraine.
  • Russia is the number one supplier of fertilizer in the world. We’ve shut that down with sanctions. Does anyone else think this might impact global food supply and prices in the next year or so?
  • I haven’t watched an NFL game for at least two years now. I recently got sucked into watching the playoff games the last few weeks. Not sure how I feel about that.
  • Rep Matt Gaetz was on Tim Pool’s podcast. It was an eye-opening insight to how congress actually works, even for a cynic like me. Worth a watch/listen.
  • I thought this online app was a fun time sink. It displays 5 photos, and you have to guess what year they’re from.
  • With the advent of retirement and winter, my book budget has significantly increased. I guess that’s a good thing? I need non-fiction suggestions. What are you reading?
  • I skied with someone in their early 70’s last week. He blows by me like I’m standing still. Clearly, age is what you make of it.

Speaking of skiing, we’ve got two days of good powder forecast in a few days. I’m off to see what sort of trouble I can get in. Enjoy your weekend!

Daily Life

No More News

Decade after decade without a natural predator to trim the deadwood has turned Americans into herd animals. All they want to do is chew their cud and watch television.

Clay Martin, Wrath of the Wendigo

It used to be a routine. Read the paper in the morning. Sundays were the best. A full three pounds of newsprint (I still remember delivering those big boys on my bike as a little kid). Hours of reading. Plenty of longer form content, opinion pieces, the comics, Parade magazine, sports. Evenings was a half hour of local news (mostly watched for the weather), followed by an hour of a “serious” evening news program so you’d know what happened in the world. If you were a real news junkie, you’d subscribe to at least a few other national newspapers as well as some monthly magazines. Throw in a few publications like Esquire, Rolling Stone, and Powder Magazine (Ski Magazine wasn’t cool enough) so you could be hip, and boom – you’re reasonably in touch with the world.

Then came CNN. 24 hours of news? Who in the world would watch that? I distinctly remember watching Bernard Shaw reporting from Iraq at the start of the first gulf war. Wow. We were seeing war in real-time. What the news industry could morph into was mind-blowing and exciting. Fast forward to today and 95% of all news media, video and print, is now basically a news version of the early Maury Povich or Morton Downey Jr. trash TV shows.

The point of “news” today is to generate clicks, likes, and engagement. Like Maury Povich’s “who’s the daddy” segments, the point is to get that gasp or cheer from the audience. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not as long as you capture the eyeballs. Turn on any of the alphabet news channels and you’ll see one of two formats. The most popular is to give a twenty second intro, to a hopefully controversial topic, and then turn to a panel of media personalities that yell at each other. Your other option is a thirty second description of a story, then bring on an “expert” calling in via Zoom from their living room and give them twenty seconds to babble before cutting them off. Whoo hoo, journalism bitches!

It is becoming exceedingly rare for me to watch any sort of news channel. It’s pointless. Not only for the aforementioned trash TV format, but because I’ve already read or watched anything news related that day via Twitter. Twitter, as Elon has said, truly has become the public square for information. Anything that happens in the world shows up on Twitter long before the mainstream media outlets begin reporting on it. Want long form opinion? It seems everyone with a pulse now has a Substack or podcast. I can read opinions on any subject under the sun.

The beauty of Twitter? I get to curate what I see and have the freedom to decide what I think is truth, opinion, or tin-foil-hat conspiracy. If you are sad enough to only consume CNN… you get a slick used car salesman, Joy Behar version of the news.

So, here’s the million-dollar question. Is the media doing it because that’s what they think we want, or have we truly become that dumb? Have we reached the start of the Idiocracy era? I’m not naive enough to think the early versions of the news I grew up with didn’t have an agenda. Government absolutely attempted to influence the nightly narrative we were fed by Walter Cronkrite. But at least back then, they had to tread somewhat lightly… people still practiced journalism from time to time. Today, the government has an actual private pipeline to all the social media platforms (as revealed by the Twitter file dumps).

My gut feeling? We (the US) have become that dumb. We all want nothing more than to be Instagram influencers, buy cheap shit from Amazon, and binge the latest celebrity expose series on Netflix. If the government tells us we all need to subscribe to a national digital ID, well super! It will make everyday life so much easier. Just make sure I know what the latest thing is, so I can post my solidarity flag on Facebook.

Clearly, I’m feeling a bit cynical today. But for good reason. The crash is coming. Deglobalization is happening, and the Ukraine conflict will produce ripple effects in oil prices, energy scarcity, fertilizer supply, and food prices that are going to hurt. Very quickly, everything that comes from someplace else… is going to be harder to get and more expensive. Oh, Don Lemon isn’t talking about this on CNN? Hmm. The gap between the haves and have-nots in this country is going to accelerate rapidly. Throw in a non-stop media barrage of racial division and, well, you get unrest. People who can’t afford to buy eggs or fill up their cars will want to vent their anger towards someone. And when you split the country like we are now… whoever the other side is a perfect target.

Or maybe not. Maybe we’ll defeat Putin (whatever that means). Everyone will have an electric vehicle. Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion rules will solve all those pesky social issues. We’ll tax the rich enough to solve our budget and inflation problems. We’ll finally get around to replacing the police with conflict therapists. AI will free us from the mundane of day-to-day jobs. Peace. Love. Harmony.

Maybe.

Or, become a Contrarian. Question everything. Become ungovernable. Oh, and prepare. You’ve been forewarned.

Government

I Don’t Understand

I am not a student of history, geopolitics, or economics. I confess that I have about a 7th grade grasp of world events most of the time. Therefore, I am being sincere when I say that I need someone to explain something to me like I was a child. Speak slowly and in simple language. No platitudes, vague historical references, or moral right vs. wrong inferences. I’m looking for a clear, fact-based argument. Ready?

Why is it in the United States strategic interest to fully fund, arm, and (eventually) defend Ukraine?

What I find when I search on this subject is mostly vague arm waving and teeth gnashing about “we can’t let naked aggression like this go unchecked”, or “if we don’t stop Russia here and push them back, they’ll soon be rolling into Poland”. There’s plenty of moral justifications thrown out – “we can’t stand by and let innocent civilians be slaughtered”, or the WWII reference of “we stood by when Germany began occupying other countries, we can’t let that happen again”. All of those things may be true. But none of them are an argument for why the US needs to be the one to solve it.

This is not a defense of Russia’s actions. For a variety of reasons, Russia made the strategic choice to invade another country. War is awful and never leads to a good outcome for anyone involved. Period. You can hate Russia all you want for their decision… but it doesn’t change the fact that they did it. So, now what?

The US has committed upwards of $60 billion dollars, with future pledges bringing the total to over $100 billion. We’ve depleted our own stockpiles of military hardware so we can send it to Ukraine. We have troops on the ground in-country, we’re providing training, intelligence, targeting, and continue to push the envelope with more and more advanced military technology. We seem to be doing everything possible to poke the Russian bear and provoke an escalation. Why? Why is all this in our interest?

So back to my child-like questions:

  • Ukraine is not a NATO member, nor has it been a historical ally. Why does the US need to be the one to defend them?
  • Russia has not attacked a fellow NATO member, so you can’t claim we’re fulfilling our article 5 duties. Why are we there?
  • If the European countries are feeling threatened… shouldn’t that be primarily a European problem to solve?
  • Given that any future threat is to Europe, shouldn’t the vast majority of aid be coming from European countries?
  • Given that we’re $32+ trillion in debt and have a whole host of issues of our own to solve, we do we need to be sending $100 billion to Ukraine?
  • We just ended (badly) a 20-year war that cost us $5+ trillion. Why do we need to engage in another war?
  • And finally… how is it in our strategic interests to provoke Russia to the brink of a nuclear exchange?

Here’s something nobody wants to talk about. Without US support, Russia would have pretty quickly taken a large portion of Ukrainian territory. Whether that is good or bad is subject for another discussion. Regardless, we enabled Ukraine to push back sufficiently enough that this war will now go on for a very long time. No matter who wins, the end outcome will be that Ukraine will be left a smoking heap of ash. There will be nothing left. Its infrastructure will be completely destroyed. Its agricultural, drilling, and mining exports are already gone. As we approach spring, Russia will accelerate its targeting of all power infrastructure, water, sewer, and industrial capacity. They will turn Ukraine into a wasteland and force a mass exodus of refugees. Whatever is left of the population will be facing actual famine. That’s reality.

Do you really think Russia is suddenly going to say, “whoops, my bad. Sorry about that”. Is Russia going to decide tomorrow to just pull back with its tail between its legs? Doubtful. The US has done everything possible to accelerate and prolong this war. Now what? When Russia sends 300,000 troops over the border this summer, what are we going to do? Ukraine is rapidly running out of fighting age males to throw at the problem. This is why they need more and more advanced battlefield tools – they can no longer win with just infantry. Are US ground troops and air cover next?

If Russia loses a couple hundred thousand troops by next fall, don’t you think battlefield nukes are a realistic option for them? Then what do we do?

None of this makes sense to me. I really need someone to explain to me in simple terms, why it is in the United States strategic interest to own this mess?

P.S. The actual answer to all of this of course, is the military industrial complex. We want to sell weapons. That’s it. It’s that simple. Sorry.

Cool, Daily Life, Motivation

Extreme Sports, Attempted

I’m not sure what I was thinking. I suspect my improved leg strength gave me a false sense of skill. Regardless of how it started, I found myself panting heavily, staring down at a series of steep drop-offs and surrounded by cliffs. How did I get myself in this predicament? Too late to back out, nothing to do but take a deep breath and 3..2..1… go.

Let’s rewind to the beginning. I am an average skier. A rockstar on the intermediate groomers, more tentative on the steeper stuff, a disaster in the crud and moguls. My problem is that I really, really like the idea of skiing in the trees. Off-piste as the Europeans would say. I just can’t figure out how to get good at it. I watch others flow through the trees and smoothly navigate big bumps and obstacles. Me on the other hand on the same terrain – a series of awkward hop turns, sliding, skidding, often ending up in a snow covered, contorted upside-down position.

This year I vowed to master the off-piste. To be one of those guys flowing through the trees. I started out with vastly improved strength, due to the time I’ve spent in the gym. That new-found strength has given me the confidence to ski hard, all day. I’ve been fortunate to be able to ski every 2-3 days, which has certainly improved my form. I started making small forays into the trees and seeking out ungroomed snow. As my skill improved, I started eying a valley known as an “experts only” area. One of the groomed runs borders the area and I kept flirting with the edge and eying the trees and chutes in the valley.

A few days ago, we had a big powder dump. I got to the resort early and did a few warm-up laps on the groomed runs. Finally, I skied down the run bordering the off-piste area and stopped at the edge. I spent quite a bit of time looking down and going over in my head what could go wrong if I dropped in. Eventually I told myself that I’d never know If I didn’t try.

Down I went. And it was awesome! While I don’t know if I was actually flowing through the trees, I handled it without any problems. I spent the rest of the day dropping in and playing in this new playground. I had a blast. The next day I skied with friends who stick to the groomers. I spent that whole day diving in and out of trees bordering the runs, seeking out all the crud and powder remnants I could find. My confidence was through the roof!

Yesterday we had another overnight snow. I hit the slopes and warmed up with a few runs. I was going to drop in where I spent the other day, then thought to myself why not drop in from the very top? With my newfound confidence, I rode the lift up and traversed around to the entrance of the expert area. There were ominous signs posted indicating this was an area for experts only and ski patrol was limited. I paused for a moment, but my excitement over my new skills won out. I went through the gates.

Things went bad from the beginning. The “trail” was a very narrow, slick, twisting route full of bumps and awkward off-camber turns. My speed was increasing, but I had no way to slow down as the trail was too narrow to turn or even snowplow. I was now flying along, borderline out of control, and definitely did not want to slide off the edge. Up ahead I spotted a wider spot in the trail and did a hard slide to bleed off speed. Unfortunately, immediately around the corner the trail turned steeply uphill and I no longer had the momentum to make it up. I came to an awkward stop on the edge. Fuck.

Now I was stuck. No way to get my skis off and hike anywhere. My only choice was down. I was looking down a narrow chute with trees at the bottom and unknown terrain below that. It took a while to get my breathing under control. I will say, committing to that first jump turn was one of the harder things I’ve done. I made my way down the chute. Jump turn. Slide, slide, jump. Over and over.

Finally, I reached the trees. This was a little easier, but there were steep cliffs everywhere and I couldn’t always tell if the edges I was skiing up to were vertical or navigable. I kept traversing across the slope, dropping down in places my skill allowed me to make turns. Eventually I made it to the wide open part of the bowl and terrain I could handle. I was drenched with sweat and my thighs were quivering.

I turned around and looked back up at what I had come down. I realized I’d come down a double black diamond called Chinook Chute. Probably one of the hardest areas in the resort. Wow. I couldn’t believe I’d done that. I started feeling pretty proud of myself. It was ugly and more sliding and slipping than actual skiing. It certainly won’t make any Warren Miller ski film highlights, but I did it and managed to not crash.

If you told me at the beginning of this season I’d be going down that, I wouldn’t have believed you. Trust me, I’m in no hurry to go back up there. It really is above my skill level. But… I’m not that far off.

The lesson is that you are capable of way more than you think you are. All it takes is the willpower to try. Yes, you may crash and burn. But if you don’t try, you’ll never know.

My problem is balancing my age, true skill, and good decision making with my new-found ego. I need to remind myself that I’m no longer twenty. At this stage of my life, do I really need to be flirting with cliffs and double black diamond runs? Probably not.

But man, it felt good to accomplish that. Hmm… maybe I could become that guy effortlessly floating through the trees?

Daily Life

Whiteout Conditions

I went skiing the other day with some friends. A typical day, although a bit foggy when we rolled into the parking lot. We pulled on our gear and trudged across the icy parking lot to the lifts. I stretched a bit and tried to loosen up before our first run. As we clicked into our ski bindings, the fog suddenly went from 4/10 visibility to 0/10 visibility. As in, we could barely see the lift ten feet away. No matter, we are hearty soldiers and got on the chairlift anyway.

As the lift climbed the mountain, visibility remained poor. But we held out hope – it’s not uncommon in our area to have the fog/cloud layer dissipate at the summit. Alas, it was not to be. The summit was socked in with thick pea soup fog. We slowly made our way to the first run we could find, just to get down the mountain. Skiing in zero visibility is weird. It’s not uncommon to get a bit of vertigo, as your brain wrestles with slopes and angles without any visual clues.

We stopped about halfway down the run and just looked at each other. One of the guys proclaimed, “This sucks. I’m going to the lodge and getting a beer.” So down we went, carefully picking our way through moguls we couldn’t see. At the bottom, the pessimist headed straight for the lodge. The other optimist and I debated and decided to do one more run before calling it a day. As the chairlift carried us up, the fog started getting thinner and thinner. We looked at each other and laughed – wouldn’t it be funny if the cloud layer burned off and the pessimist missed out?

Sure enough as we neared the top the fog dissipated, and it was nothing but bright blue skies. Beautiful! We headed down a run, whooping the whole way. We stopped several times and texted and called the pessimist, telling him to get back out here. At the bottom we zoomed right back to the chairlift so we could head back up. More texts and voicemails telling our lodge-bound friend to dump the beer and join us. No word from him, so we went back up into the sun and bombed down another run.

Once at the bottom, we ran into the lodge and convinced the pessimist to abandon the beer that had just been delivered and come back out with us. He reluctantly gave up the tasty beverage and trudged outside to put skis on again and make his way with us back to the chairlift. He was quiet on the ride up. And disturbingly, the fog seemed to be thicker than the last two trips up. Visibility dropped the further up the mountain we went. And sure enough, we reached the summit and… whiteout conditions again. Zero visibility. Mr. pessimist just looked at us without saying much. There wasn’t much we could say other than, “honest it was blue ski fifteen minutes ago.” Down we went into the soup.

Back at the bottom, tail between our legs we all went into the lodge for some adult beverages. We spent some time enjoying the warmth of the bar and mostly ignoring the elephant in the room. As everyone was finishing, I looked out the window and it appeared as though the fog was lifting a bit. I got smart this time and used my phone to bring up the live summit webcam. Sure enough, bright blue skies! I excitedly showed the video to my friends and suggested we hurry up and get at least one more run in while the sun was out. I was met with very skeptical looks. I kept pointing to the video – it’s a live look and I see sun! Let’s go!

Skis back on, hop on the chairlift, and back up we go. Do I even need to say what happened?

I have officially been fired as a weather and conditions prognosticator.

P.S. A bad day skiing is still better than being at work. Just saying…

Daily Life

Happy As a Hippo

I really, really like the idea of maintaining a bullet journal. The engineering side of me appreciates how logical and organized it is. To be able to easily see and track tasks, events, and future plans just makes sense to me. I would like to be the type of person who is that organized. Unfortunately, I’m not and I don’t understand why.

A week ago, I said I was going to give it a try again (probably the fourth or fifth attempt). I rewatched the bullet journal video. I got everything set up. Dates and days added, tasks and events entered. The next day I stared at it. The following day I simply stared at it again. It’s now been a week… and I haven’t touched it. I literally don’t know what to put in it. I really don’t need reminding of the few tasks I entered. Anything critical is already on my electronic calendar so I’ll get a reminder.

So now what? Do I just enter stuff in for the sake of it? Maybe if I just keep writing stuff in it every day it’ll become a habit. But why? I’ve somehow managed to live a lot of years without a journal. Is my life really going to be better if I become a journal-person?

I don’t know what it is that I’m trying to solve by continually going back to the idea of the journal. Clearly there’s something I feel I’m lacking or missing out on. All the minimalist and entrepreneur-types on YouTube and Twitter say it’s the path to productivity. Maybe that’s answer – I just don’t feel productive. Perhaps continually trying to journal is a way to force myself to be more productive. But do I really need to be?

I’m reminded of The King of Scuba in the silly movie Along Came Polly. He tells Ruben the story of the hippo. The hippo painted stripes on himself to be like a tiger, but everyone knew he wasn’t a tiger. He put spots on himself to be like the leopard, but everyone knew he wasn’t a leopard. Finally, he looked in the mirror and decided he’d just be a hippopotamus. And then he was happy.

I’m not going to pretend to be something I’m not. Being an uber-organized overachiever is not me. No matter how many times I try to journal, the end result will be the same. I am not a journal person. Never have been, never will be. Relaxed and care-free on the beach like the scuba king is more my personality. This is officially the end of any attempts to be a journal-person.

Ahhh… see, I’m already relieved.

Be like the hippopotamus. Just be happy.