Yo Hippy, Get A Haircut!

  • Everyone has a chore they hate doing. Dusting, mowing the lawn, cleaning the inside of the microwave, organizing the Tupperware, everyone has something they dread. For me it’s getting a haircut. Don’t ask why, I just do. Maybe in part it’s because in my head I’m convinced I’ll soon look like Brad Pitt in Legends of the Fall. The reality is closer to greasy Appalachian trailer park resident. The same with facial hair. Any day now I’m going to have a Jack Murphy beard. Reality is… well not that. So my cycle is let it go until it’s embarrassingly long and I’m coating it in major amounts of hair goop to keep it out of my face (or wear a hat every day), then shave it all off. And every time I cut it I swear I’ll schedule a haircut every five to six weeks like clockwork. At my age I guess I should just be grateful I still have a full head of hair to worry about. Anyway, today’s the shearing day.
  • Speaking of hats, an update on the surgical cap. I don’t particularly like it, but it’s doing the job and saving the tops of my ears from the surgical mask ear loops. It’s clear that even though they say “unisex”, they were designed for women. I ordered something that’s more like a doo-rag to see if that works better. Stay tuned, part two.
  • The injury update – I have a bruise that goes from my hip almost to my knee. It looks gruesome, but doesn’t really hurt. When I landed on the key fob it created a tennis ball size hematoma. All that blood has to go somewhere. It looks like I got hit by a truck.
  • So Project Veritas manages to secretly record CNN editorial calls for months. It shouldn’t surprise anyone that CNN is nothing more than a propaganda machine for the left. I’m sure secret Fox news meetings would be similar. Never air anything that hurts your political agenda. These are not news organizations. I’m not sure we even have just straight news anymore? For me the most humorous part is CNN “referring this to law enforcement” when they have no qualms about doing the exact same thing.
  • I was going to make a joke about the woman who “lured” a 14 year old boy to her home and had sex with him. I suspect my sarcasm wouldn’t be appreciated by the outrage crowd, so never mind.
  • I had a patient go AMA last night. For those who don’t know, AMA stands for “against medical advice”. The patient had a fall a week ago, finally came in and had an unstable vertebral fracture. The neurosurgeon ordered bedrest until a rigid clamshell brace could be fitted. The patient completely ignored the bedrest orders and spent the day walking around the room (complaining of pain) despite everyone’s attempts to describe the potential for further injury. At the very end of the shift the brace arrived and the patient took one look at it and said hell no I’m not wearing that, I’m leaving. After spending the better part of an hour (and ignoring all my other patients) trying to convince this person to stay and wear the brace, printing paperwork, explaining the consequences of leaving AMA (the massive bill insurance won’t pay), etc… the patient packed up to leave. Several minutes later he hit the call light so he could ask where his pain pill prescriptions were? I informed him that if you leave AMA there are no more scripts. Cue the lengthy, expletive filled rant on how we don’t care about people and do we not understand he’s in pain? Oh, and can I help him get his shoes on because he can’t bend over that far. Is it any surprise that I’m becoming very cynical about the human population?

Song of the day: Nena “99 Luftballons (Live 1983)”

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