I live a pretty idyllic life. For the most part I bumble along day to day without much of a care in the world. I’m rarely in a bad mood. I’m kind of a golden retriever, fat, dumb, and happy, ready to go play and do whatever anyone wants to do. Things tend to just work out and I never have to make any hard decisions about anything. I’m certainly blessed.
But this year has been different. Things are just a bit… off. There isn’t any one thing that’s wrong. It’s been a collection of small disturbances in the force that have put me off my game. If I described any one of my woes in detail, you’d look at me and laugh – “seriously dude, that’s the sum total of your issue? Do you not realize how fortunate you are?” And you’d be right. There’s nothing earth shattering going on. It just feels like a lot of little things, all adding up.
And the end result is that I’ve lost my flow. My mojo. I just can’t seem to get motivated. My routines from the last few years have been disrupted. And the creme de la creme, the icing on the cake, has been the weather. This spring has been awful. Cold. Wet. Rain. Snow. Mud. And the wind. Oh my god, the wind has been horrible. It feels like every day I had available to go outside and do something it was either raining or the wind was howling. The end result was that I’ve spent more days sitting in a chair reading a book, surfing the internet, and napping than I ever have in my life. And as they say in the physics world, momentum is the product of mass and velocity of a body. Once you get going, it takes very little to maintain momentum. Unfortunately, I have a large mass and zero velocity. It takes a pretty big impulse to get things moving.
Yesterday I decided to get things moving. It was windy, but at least it was sunny and not freezing. I spent the entire day doing yard work, cleanup, and a run to the dump. I felt pretty good about it. That evening we were to meet some folks for dinner. Mrs Troutdog tried to pick someplace slightly different; an outdoor venue to listen to a band. As soon as she said it, I should have said let’s do something else. I really didn’t feel like sitting out in the wind. But, I’m a golden retriever and didn’t want to be the party pooper. So I said “sure, whatever you want”.
We show up and it turns out to be a country band. And I hate country music. I can listen to most anything. Just not country music. And our table is literally ten feet from the speaker. So what did I do? I had a temper tantrum. A full-on, five year old throwing themselves down in the middle of the grocery aisle screaming temper tantrum. Not my finest moment.
I really don’t know why. Normally I’m pretty good at going with the flow in that sort of scenario. Maybe have an extra adult beverage and just make the best of it. Yesterday I just couldn’t. Very out of character for me.
Clearly the collection of small little things and the never-ending horrible weather accumulated in my brain more than I’d thought. It’s past due time to find the impulse to get the momentum moving. I had my little pity party. We’re through the worst of spring and summer is just around the corner. In fact, I officially declare today to be the first day of the summer season. Let’s get the party started! God knows, nobody likes seeing grown-ass men having temper tantrums in the grocery store aisle.
You know how there’s psychiatrists who will help you become desensitized to things like fear of flying or snakes? Maybe there’s one for country music? Twelve straight hours of Kenny Chesney and you’re cured! I may need that.